80% Of Aussie Blokes With Wolf Tattoos Found To Live In North Brisbane
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA recent study into trending body art has found that wolf tatts are incredibly popular amongst blokes who live in North Brisbane, as are forest tattoos (primarily on the forearm), mandalas, lions, tigers, panthers, or really just anything depicting some sort of wild animal.
These findings come after it was discovered that almost every bloke who attended a music...
Adult Man On His L Plates Manages To Collect All Gold’s In License Test
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man has today wowed his girlfriend with an incredible display of competence.
Jared Hicks from Betoota’s French Quarter has made his long term partner swoon at his ability to drive a car around a video game track on his PlayStation 5.
“All Golds baby” he reportedly told his girlfriend after going toe to toe with a tricky track...
Advice Column | Learning To Walk Away When The Barman Explains Your Pint Of Pale Ale Costs $18
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Beer drinkers may not know this but for the last 40 years tax on beer has followed the automatic indexation that occurs in line with inflation. So whenever the cost of living increases – which you may have noticed it has been lately - so too does the beer tax.
This has led to a...
He’s The One: Man Proposes On Sunday Evening For Peak Social Media Engagement
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local man has proved he is actually a local God after popping the question to his long time partner on a Sunday evening to ensure the subsequent announcement would receive peak social media engagement rates.
Once the goal of the world’s brands before they remembered profits are a thing, social media engagement is defined as the percentage of...
Nation’s Florists To Double The Price Gouging With New Claims Of Rose Shortage
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe newest shortage to completely take shoppers on a Easter Show level pricey ride is a rose shortage, right before Valentines Day no less.
Over the last 12 months the average price of essentials such as fuel, groceries and rent has increased for reasons that most people only vaguely understand because to completely understand would be depressing.
At the time...
Alright, I’ll Say It, I’m Done With This Toxic ‘How Many Weetbix’ Do You Do Shit
JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACTSomehow, in a world full of violent mass conflict, identity politics run amuck and a renewed addiction for reality TV, we have forgotten the most toxic problem to ever be served with milk and honey.
I speak, of course, about the humble bowl of Weet-Bix.
When they were first invented, Weet-Bix were the most flavoursome European food on so-called Australia,...
Report: Summer At Stage Where Fun Stuff Is Over And Heat Just Ruins A Night’s Sleep
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThere’s still half a month's worth of summer to go but now that everyone has settled down in the various routines that mark the slow march towards Christmas/death, all of us can agree that the fun bits are over.
Usually peppered with the virtues of day drinking, the slap of saltwater and the nostalgic irony of Pez feat. 360,...
American Podcast Absolutely Butchering Australian Town Name
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAn Australian podcast listener tuning into a lighthearted recount of a violent crime has once again been disgusted by the American host’s inability to say an Australian town name correctly.
While listening to the US true crime podcast The Real Scranton Stranglers, a podcast about real murders that parallel plot points from the US Office, Betootan Kirilee Vert (25)...
Luxury Property Seller Distressed At Only Making Hundreds Of Thousands Of Dollars Of Tax Free Capital Gains
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
“Oh no. No no no!”
These were the distressed mutterings heard from under Sarah Connelly’s breath earlier today after her luxury Roma Hills 3 bedroom apartment sold at Auction for only $890,000.
“I can’t fucking believe this shit,” she cried, her cheeks flushed with a rage normally reserved for those who’ve just witnessed a stranger smack their child.
While her...
New Rule In ‘Monopoly: Australia’ Allows Players Born Between 1946-1964 To Start With Houses On The Board
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
A wholesome Gen Z’er has spent quality time with her Aunt and Uncle this afternoon, playing a fun new version of the classic board game, Monopoly - the Australia Edition.
Axolotl Goitre (19) is endearingly kind and naive for her age. She loves spending time with her Olds and thinks they are pretty cool for a couple of boomers...
