Local News

Report: There’s Actually Like A Whole Week Between Christmas And NYE

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While caught in the midst of a four week holiday break from work, Georgina Lorigan says she has lost complete track of time. "I couldn't tell you if Christmas was yesterday or a week ago - I don't what day it is," "Staff Christmas drinks weren't too long before my family Christmas, but I've had so many different Christmas...

Head stockman says all music that isn’t Slim Dusty is “pump me in the arse” music

30 December, 2015. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TIM WHOLEMAN WAS promoted to head stockman of his Kimberly cattle station on the first of December this year, bringing in a ban on all music that wasn't recorded by Slim Dusty while his team of ringers is out at camp. "Everything else is 'pump me in the arse' music. Can't bloody stand it,"...

Local Dad Forced To Drop Son From Backyard Cricket Side Just Days Before Cousins Arrive

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT LOCAL FATHER-OF-THREE, Chris Richards has had to make the painstaking decision to drop his most timid son, Andrew (14), from the family's backyard side, ahead of the arrival of the in-laws tomorrow afternoon. "I didn't want it to be this way - but as captain, coach and selector - it's my duty to make sure we have the best side...

Local Man Struggling To Give A Fuck About Coworker’s Drunken Confessions

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Toby Lockyer has found himself in the least desirable seat at this particular staff party. While enjoying an open bar at a local surf club, the entire office at J.B Media Buying have been forced to adhere to designated seats within the venue, in order to help cultivate their famously "social work environment". Mr Lockyer got seated next to...

Bouncer Behaving Pretty Much Exactly Like The People He’s Kicking Out

16 December, 2015 17:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local nightclub bouncer, Roddy Blake, spent a good part of last night forcefully removing patrons from the venue he is employed by. "Smoking, spitting, swearing, rowdy behaviour... That's a pretty good indicator that it's time for you to get 'pretzeled' out of the place," While Mr Blake acknowledges the importance of his job, he also recognises...

“All I Want For Christmas Is A Babysitter And Two Bags Of Bondi Marching Powder”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Young mother of two, Maree Hardy says the Christmas spirit is alive and well in her family home this season. "Everyone's excited! The tree is up and our boys have written their letters to Santa. They can't wait," With two sons in kindergarten and a stay-at-home husband, Maree is the sole breadwinner in their South Betoota household and after working sixteen hour...

Plain Clothes Cop Blows Cover By Asking Teenage Drug Dealer To Add Him On MSN

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local teenagers were left in a state of confusion yesterday, after a seemingly 'cool' older man asked them if they were active users of the MSN Messenger Service, in a vacant car park. Ollie Wyndham, 16, says the group became suspicious of the man after he made reference to the discontinued instant messenger service, which was rebranded as Windows Messenger in...

‘The Fat Jew’ Is Painfully Not-Funny, Confirms Person Who Met Him In Real Life

30 November, 2015 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Josh Ostrovsky, aka ‘The Fat Jew,’ rakes in six figures from his joke-sharing Instagram account and has recently landed several sponsorship deals. As a controversial figure in the world of internet humour, it is assumed by many that The Fat Jew is the current 'face' of contemporary comedy. However one man, who has actually met...

Local man slapped with jay-walking ticket in Birdsville

29 November, 2015. 9:14 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEING ONE of the more quieter towns of the Diamantina Shire, 23-year-old Dirk Hampton was ticketed by an area constable yesterday after failing to cross Adelaide Street at the designated crossing. The $103 fine is bureaucracy gone mad, says Hampton. "This is just revenue raising. Don't the cops have anything better to do?...

Local Coward Lets Partner Read Through Entire Group Chat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Ben Gladstone is a coward. That's according to thirteen blokes in his secret, boys-only WhatsApp group conversation. "Ben's done mate. He's cooked it," says former-mate Ryan Wrigley. "What the fuck was he thinking. It goes without saying that the group chat is secret mens business. It's fucking sacred... He let his girlfriend read through the entire thing," "It's all...

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