Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAlthough it all seems good and well in the usually unnewsworthy suburb of Betoota Heights, local dad Kieran Weston (53) is harbouring a secret so vile that he reminds his wife and children of it every chance he can get. While Weston may appear to be the average mild-mannered, church on Christmas, footy coach if no one else wants...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA middle class fraud has been sprung today as self-described foodie Timmeon Swimmer (38) was forced to admit he has never eaten a blueberry-white choc scone from Bakers Delight. Once a powerhouse in baking and jingle driven ‘90s adverts, Bakers Delight is a bakery franchise that would have gone nation wide if Tasmania didn’t insist on extreme brand loyalty...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA study by the Bureau of Childless Men (BCM) has confirmed that a sibling relationship to a parent is not necessarily needed for a man to be considered a ‘cool uncle’, rather they just need to be the sort of bloke who will do the opposite of what parents would normally do. One such ‘cool uncle’ is Luceyn Bennett...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota Heights chippy Burt Luke has been struck down today by a mystery case of the tummy pains. While there is plenty of gastroenteritis getting around the Channel Country, the comfortable boyfriend of one said he's pretty sure he can rule that out. "Yeah, it's not squirty or anything and I don't feel like vomiting," he said. "I've...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough it heavily contributes to her hangxiety the next morning, there’s nothing Sheevaun Nowak loves more than replying to random people’s instagram stories. To rephrase that, there’s nothing DRUNK Sheevaun loves more than replying to random people’s instagram stories, especially if they contain thirst traps that are very obviously not intended for her. But hey, she’s a girl’s girl,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As a gossip drought continues to plague Bond street in Betoota Heights, the rumour that local parents Mary and Jim Boyle might be getting divorced came as a surprising, if not very welcome neighbourhood update. Sensing both ears and her brain were burning, local gossip Jan Tognolini was immediately at the door of the alleged Boyle household with a...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local girl is cursing the devastating man drought that’s sweeping the nation, as she braces to feel the full economic effects of wedding season. Unlucky in love and unlucky in life, local bachelorette Amy Spencer is preparing to wipe her life savings clean today after being handed maid of honour duties for her childhood friend Claire...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has this week discovered she might not have to spend thousands of dollars on a trip to Italy, after getting a pretty authentic experience working in a bar kitchen. It’s alleged Daphne Sanderson had made the decision to visit after coming across a Tik Tok user who stated Italy was the perfect place to visit...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA French Quarter woman has today been given some thinking to do, after realising that the thought of dating a tradie was probably a lot better than the reality of it. Theo Howard is said to have announced to her girlfriends that her ideal husband would be a tradesman, coming to the conclusion that all tradies were loveable...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With plenty around the nation currently obsessing over a young English man named Fred, it can be confirmed that one local woman isn't buying the hype. 64-year-old small business owner Cheryl Berrigan revealed to The Advocate that she is not at all impressed with the man her daughters are idolising right now. "Fred Again? More like Fred backspace...