LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The newest shortage to completely take shoppers on a Easter Show level pricey ride is a rose shortage, right before Valentines Day no less.
Over the last 12 months the average price of essentials such as fuel, groceries and rent has increased for reasons that most people only vaguely understand because to completely understand would be depressing.
At the time of writing, the best way to deal with these price increases is to nut up and pay for it, an easier alternative than taking out a loan on a tiny house on farming land once owned by the Comancheros.
Yet the newest crop to charge a premium by virtue of existence is the romantic red rose, often purchased by foolish fellas scrambling for a last minute present and are already prepared to pay an extortionary amount to save face.
Unfortunately, these last minute lovers are in for a shock this year as the ‘rose shortage’ is making the spenno last minute purchase all the more exy.
“Most of our roses come from Russia turns out,” stated local florist Nigel Feathers, hoping most consumers have been ground down enough by the past year to just accept it.
“That will be $327. Did you want to include a note with that as well?”
MORE TO COME.
