LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

There’s still half a month’s worth of summer to go but now that everyone has settled down in the various routines that mark the slow march towards Christmas/death, all of us can agree that the fun bits are over.

Usually peppered with the virtues of day drinking, the slap of saltwater and the nostalgic irony of Pez feat. 360, summer is a season that encapsulates the idyllic Australian life that graces a postcard.

At least that is true for the middle portion of summer, before everyone has to turn back up to work having already sweated through their shirt before returning home to figure out how the fuck they are going to sleep in a boiling bedroom that somehow wasn’t built with this climate in mind.

“It’s not dark when I get home so my only excuse to not go to the gym is laziness,” stated account manager Miriam Mustard (32), who now spends her Sundays meal prepping instead of rounding off a helluva bender.

“I’m trying to eat healthy now while I can. Eventually, it will all turn to shit and the grind of the 9 to 5, or to be honest the 8 to 6, is just going to put me in a place where I need to treat myself once an hour.”

“But that’s only if every year of my adult life is anything to go by. Things will be different this year. Everything is more expensive for starters.”

MORE TO COME. 

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