RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
“Oh no. No no no!”
These were the distressed mutterings heard from under Sarah Connelly’s breath earlier today after her luxury Roma Hills 3 bedroom apartment sold at Auction for only $890,000.
“I can’t fucking believe this shit,” she cried, her cheeks flushed with a rage normally reserved for those who’ve just witnessed a stranger smack their child.
While her estate agent claimed that this was a ‘great price’ and that she should be ‘chuffed’, the Advocate knows for a fact that Connelly would rather have her eyeballs sucked out with a vacuum cleaner than suffer the indignity of her first property sale making her less than $300,000 in tax free capital gains.
“I’ve been living in this fucking place for 7 years,” she sobbed. “7 fucking years and what? I go to sell and I only make a couple of hundred thousand dollars of tax free capital gains?” She threw her arms up and down several times as she spoke.
“What the fucking fuck!” she yelled as hard she could before slumping down into the living room’s sofa.
The Advocate can report that Connolly bought the place for just under $600k 7 years ago. This means that in that time the poor thing has suffered through a property value increase of only 15% year on year.
“I thought this place would sell for at least $1.2m,” she said behind watery eyes.
With her expectations truly dashed by the horrific turn of events of today’s auction, the Advocate understands Connolly is now questioning the bright future she had imagined for herself as a successful property investor.
“What’s the point if it takes years of hard work to only end up with a few hundred grand? And if I move into investment properties, those capital gains are taxed!”
“Well, half of them are anyways.”
As good-natured Australians like Connolly continue to suffer through a terrifying housing market downturn, pressure is mounting on the Labor Government to unnaturally prop up the property sector once more.
The inconsolable Connolly, who after today’s sale becomes a millionaire, begrudgingly signed whatever contracts her estate agent put in front of her.
“Fucking bullshit,” she muttered all the while.
