Politics

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Pauline Hanson has confirmed that she will once again be running her own race. The leader of One Nation has revealed that she plans to send out her own 2,000 word essay regarding the Voice referendum. The commitment to self publish what will surely be a sort after piece of work, comes after the the Coalition dominated No...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of the nation's dodgiest multinationals have today moved to secure a big new name for their company. PWC (Professional Whitecollar Corruption) have revealed they've thrown their hat in the ring to sign Gladys Berejiklian on a big money deal. The former Premier of NSW who engaged in 'seriously corrupt' conduct while in charge of the state of...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Liberal leader Peter Dutton says senator David Van should quit parliament, after a spate of accusations begin to make the halls of Parliament look less safe than a bikie clubhouse. Independent Senator Lidia Thorpe says she felt demonised after speaking to the senate about her experiences in parliament, blowing the whistle on the inappropriate behaviour of a seemingly...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian Prime Minister has been forced to ride solo this week, after having one of his bros cancel on him last minute. Prepped for a massive midweek sesh ahead of the stringletfest that is the G7 summit in Japan this weekend, Anthony Albanese was forced to push himself without a spotter. "Farkkkkkk bro," said a frustrated Albanese...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has today vented its frustration about the lack of action on the housing crisis in Australia. Not because their housing policy is a steaming pile of dog shit on a nice carpet, but because the Greens and Coalition refuse to step on their steaming pile of dog shit and smear it all over the carpet....

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact “If you accidently smash into a brush-tailed possum while driving and leave it desperately crippled, what do you do next?”  This was the question posed to the Advocate by RBA governor Philip Lowe via Skype just moments ago. “You get out of your Lexus, grab a golf club out of the boot and put the poor bastard out of its...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has reminded the nation about his competency levels this week, by revealing he'll probably be quitting politics this month. The man who orchestrated the spending of $368 billion on a handful of submarines that won't arrive in Australian waters for a couple of decades has confirmed he's lined up a couple of cushy...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT There has been a huge sigh of relief from the security team in charge of our Prime Minister today, after finally locating the big fella a short time ago. That relief has spread throughout the government, with ministers being warned that Albanese had disappeared on the eve of their first proper budget in more than a decade. However,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT WHEN YA SAY IT LIKE THAT I SPOSE: The Federal Government has today announced plans to tackle the fact that almost every teenager seems to be addicted to nicotine, after spending the entire pandemic locked down in their bedrooms puffing on artificially flavoured chemical vapour that was willingly sold to them at supermarket and corner shops. Rates of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young Tasmanian family has today revealed to The Advocate the wave of relief that has washed over them since hearing the government is going to do something to help their plight. Jason and Victoria Stevens said that they are overcome with joy after learning that both state and federal governments are going to dedicate some funds and...