There has been a huge sigh of relief from the security team in charge of our Prime Minister today, after finally locating the big fella a short time ago.

That relief has spread throughout the government, with ministers being warned that Albanese had disappeared on the eve of their first proper budget in more than a decade.

However, in some good news for the government, Albanese has been located and put on a plane back to Australia.

The Marrickville man was reportedly found in the living room of a 3 bedroom apartment in the rapidly gentrifying suburb of Brixton, in London’s south.

“He is alive,” said a very relieved member of the Prime Minister’s security detail.

“He is not well. In fact, he’s extremely unwell. But he is alive.”

Albanese had apparently slipped out of sight during the Coronation of King Charles, and was unable to be located for nearly 24 hours.

“He says his phone went dead and he lost track of the time…” said the furious security detail, who had plans with his in-laws the next day.

While we are yet to be provide of any solid details about the disappearance, it’s believed the PM found some Aussies in London along the way, and somehow ended up at kick ons in their dingy little flat in the new hotspot for ex-pats.

Understandably, little other detail around the matter has been provided.

Albanese is believed to be currently on the plane home to Australia armed with a powerade and some coconut water, completely un-ready to face what shapes up as a budget fuelled terrible Tuesday.

More to come.


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