These days, time seems to be moving at a slower pace for Senator Jacinta Price – who has become the first woman ever to wait by a phone hoping that Peter Dutton will call her.

Six months after the nation was divided in a referendum where both sides agreed they didn’t want the nation divided, the Senator for the Northern Territory stood alongside opposition leader Peter Dutton for two seperate photographs before he removed himself entirely from the ‘Vote No’ campaign before returning to take all the credit for hard work and reputational damage.

Following the failure of the referendum, Dutto and his rapidly thinning party hosted a glorious party top celebrate their victories over Albo, progress and the idea that this island might one day be able to take part in a democratic process that is not soiled by gotcha moments and populist hysteria.

Unfortunately for Senator Price, this victory hasn’t quite had the kick-ons she might have expected – with the one-hit-wonder now growing concerned that she might now be forgotten by her own party and the voters – as she confronts the most dreaded fate of any Australian politician: obscurity.

“Surely he sees my use beyond undermining years of grassroots Indigenous advocacy” wonders Senator Price, checking her phone for a missed call no less than three times during that sentence alone.

“He told me he’d make me the face of nuclear power. I believed him. Why wouldn’t I? He can’t use his own face, people would think was an anti-nuclear movement”

“I’d be a great face for nuclear power. When people think of me they think of the Outback communities, I represent. That’s obviously where they’ll build this nuclear power plants. And I’ll be the one telling Australia that this is exactly what my mob want”

However, Price says she doesn’t even need one of the big jobs. She’s ready, willing and able to take on whatever scraps the Coalition leadership throws her. But still, the phone doesn’t ring”

“I’ve told them I’m more than willing to be the Shadow Minister for making trans teenagers feels like they are worthless. Or even the special envoy.”

“Haven’t heard a beep”



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