CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Just a couple months ago, Benny Larder (31) had it made.
He had a good sort under his arm, and a job that paid well enough for him to justify spending three nights on the piss a week – apparently wooing clients.
Unfortunately for Benny, this decadent lifestyle meant his home life was always going to suffer.
That, and his sheer indifference to whether or not the dishwasher got unloaded, and his magical ability to not make any of the family events his girlfriend had planned on bringing him to, paired with his sports gambling addiction that meant he was extremely reluctant to provide his partner with any transparency when it came to personal finances.
Eventually she split the sheets. Sending Benny into an existential crisis known in astrological circles as ‘Saturn Returns’.
Less than two months later the ex had a much more domesticated white collar picking her up and dropping her off from girls nights. She’d moved on at lightspeed, and was ready to start planning grown-up milestones that she’d never even contemplated discussing with the last time waster.
Meanwhile, in a one-bedroom apartment deep in the hedonistic Betoota red light district of Roma Hills – an early 30s manbaby is being rocked by the stresses and learning curves that comes with ‘independence’.
But he’s found a way around that – by simply eating at the same budget-friendly Asian restaurant every night. He’s also got a lovely migrant lady from AirTasker that comes over for a monthly clean.
His laundry has also been offloaded to another lovely migrant woman in the laundromat under his building, as has every other personal responsibility in his life – right down to the clipping of his toenails.
However, there are a couple things that the neighbourhood’s middle aged Vietnamese women cannot help him with.
Namely, furniture.
And linen.
Or any other form of interior decorations.
This is something his friends need to help with. But he hasn’t asked for their help, they’ve offered it themselves. This comes after three of Benny’s mates popped round to ‘check out the new set up;
“Jeez” says one of boys, Tim, before exhaling at the sight of Benny’s depressing existence.
“Right” says another, Kip.
“Okay thennn” says Shane, who feels the urge to do immediately intervene.
“Would a bed frame go astray here big fella?”
“What the fuck are you sleeping on? Is that a King mattress on milk crates?”
“Wait, it’s a bean bag?”
“Alright.”
“First up, we need to get some air in here”
