Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has again today begun preparations for the possibility of a life outside of the warm tax-payer funded hug of Federal Politics. After destroying the Liberal Party and losing twenty seats in the 2022 Federal Election, many assumed Scott Morrison would have fucked off by now and found work in the private sector, or on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The most unemployable man in Australian public life, former Prime Minister Scott Morrison, has today realised he must upskill or perish. Not because he needs to find himself a new corporate job and dignify the party he destroyed by resigning from Parliament's back bench, where he sits every day as a constant reminder to both his colleagues and the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The outgoing Governor of the Reserve Bank of Australia has today revealed his next move. After being told by the government that his million dollar a year job wouldn't be there moving forward, Philip Lowe said he turned his mind to what's coming up. "I've got some exciting holiday plans in the works," said Philip today. "Just to let...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has today confirmed Australia's acceptance into an illustrious club. The travelling PM has revealed that we have been accepted into the Climate Club - an international group made up of a bunch of countries all over the world, but mostly Europe. The Climate Club, which started in the parking lot of a local bar,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Liberal Party of Australia have today continued on their quest to sow as much confusion and doubt about an Indigenous Voice to Parliament. Despite the fact a report dropped at the back end of last week revealing how 'crude and cruel' their criminal Robodebt Scheme was, the Liberals are maintaining that the biggest issue right now is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former politician Stuart Robert has emphatically denied that he is now living as a woman on the Spanish island of Majorca after numerous sightings by locals and tourists. In a brief statement to The Advocate, Mr. Robert's representative provided an explanation but failed to provide evidence that he is no longer living on the Gold...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Pauline Hanson has confirmed that she will once again be running her own race. The leader of One Nation has revealed that she plans to send out her own 2,000 word essay regarding the Voice referendum. The commitment to self publish what will surely be a sort after piece of work, comes after the the Coalition dominated No...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of the nation's dodgiest multinationals have today moved to secure a big new name for their company. PWC (Professional Whitecollar Corruption) have revealed they've thrown their hat in the ring to sign Gladys Berejiklian on a big money deal. The former Premier of NSW who engaged in 'seriously corrupt' conduct while in charge of the state of...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Liberal leader Peter Dutton says senator David Van should quit parliament, after a spate of accusations begin to make the halls of Parliament look less safe than a bikie clubhouse. Independent Senator Lidia Thorpe says she felt demonised after speaking to the senate about her experiences in parliament, blowing the whistle on the inappropriate behaviour of a seemingly...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian Prime Minister has been forced to ride solo this week, after having one of his bros cancel on him last minute. Prepped for a massive midweek sesh ahead of the stringletfest that is the G7 summit in Japan this weekend, Anthony Albanese was forced to push himself without a spotter. "Farkkkkkk bro," said a frustrated Albanese...