Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has again today begun preparations for the possibility of a life outside of the warm tax-payer funded hug of Federal Politics.

After destroying the Liberal Party and losing twenty seats in the 2022 Federal Election, many assumed Scott Morrison would have fucked off by now and found work in the private sector, or on stage giving pentecostal sermons to the only people who remain loyal to his destructive brand of incompetent leadership.

However, as has been made clear by countless law firms and multinational professional services firms, not even the most corrupt white collar organisations are willing to expose themselves to the incompetence of Australia’s 30th Prime Minister.

This lack of any real life skills was epitomised last week, with the most recent report into his party’s unlawful robodebt ‘automated debt averaging and recovering’ scheme – of which he oversaw as both Social Services minister, treasurer and Prime Minister.

And as we now know, thanks to this report, the evil political elites that implemented this software were warned by their own legal advisers that is was illegal, but continued with it anyway because they couldn’t resist the opportunity to blame all of the government’s woes on ‘dole bludgers’ by falsely accusing welfare recipients of owing fictional debts to the Centrelink welfare office, and then pursuing them with private debt collectors until they either paid it back or killed themselves.

As Australia’s conservative media machines do their best to ignore any of the findings in the current Royal Commission into these despicable class war crimes that they championed so loudly when Social Services Minister Scott Morrison began rolling it out, our nation’s complicit news journalists are just glad they’ve got this Indigenous Voice referendum to kick and scream about instead of this damning report that came out last week.

But even with the Former PM deciding to ‘reject the findings’ of the report, it doesn’t change the fact that a whole lot of former Liberal Party cabinet Ministers could be up on criminal charges in relation to the robodebt scheme that is estimated to have resulted in the suicides of hundreds of Australia’s most vulnerable welfare recipients.

Today, with the very real possibility of having to endure jail time alongside the type of people that he had maliciously targetted with robodebt, Scotty From Silverwater has made an effort to avoid getting sentenced to general population.

By cutting off his ears, Scotty From Silverwater hopes to either end up in a mental health facility – or alongside his close friends from Hillsong and the Catholic church in protective custody.

“Ouchhhh!” says Scotty, as he gets an electorate office intern to cut his ears off with a rusty gillette razor blade.

“Oh well, it can’t be as bad as having to share a cell with a bludger.”

“Get me in there with the white collars!”


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