Breaking News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The first Newspoll survey results of 2020 have found that it's not just the fire-ravaged folks of Cobargo and Nelligen that want Scotty From Marketing to go and get fucked. Labor is ahead of the coalition for the first time since the federal election and Prime Minister Scott Morrison's approval rating has plunged, according to the numbers that even...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A couple dozen drug-addicted low-income waste-of-oxygen junkie cockroaches caused incredibly inconvenient roadblocks in CBDs around the country yesterday, according to the Murdoch newspapers and Sky News. The piece of shit low-breed no-hoper ice addicts were protesting the federal government's alleged mishandling of the alleged bushfire crisis and its attitude towards the made up climate change hoax - again...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As the school holidays continue, Australian parents are becoming very familiar with the common phrase “I’m borrrrred”. Betoota local Amelia, 5, says school holidays are boring because she has nothing to do. “There’s nothing to do heeeeere” she said, in a bedroom full of Christmas presents which bears a striking resemblance to the inside of a piñata at a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT On Tuesday Prime minister Scotty From Market announced at least $2bn for bushfire recovery, as the government steps away from its pledge to deliver a budget surplus amid the ongoing crisis. After months of Federal inaction, many feel the help is well overdue after thousands of homes were lost and entire towns have been evacuated by the Navy...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Far-right Liberal Senator James Paterson has today diagnosed himself with a rare form of chronic pain ranging from mild to debilitatingly ouchie. This comes has Iran claims responsibility for more than a dozen ballistic missiles that were fired at two Iraqi military bases hosting US troops, the Pentagon confirmed. The missiles targeted the Ain al-Assad base in Anbar province...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the two Islander mates in the friendship circle has found that stories their white mates have been telling about corporal punishment are rather lightweight. It is not yet known if Korbyn (24) and Jordan (25) are now exaggerating their stories to rattle the palagis - but one thing that is for certain is that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new year brings with it optimism and a chance for a fresh start. What it also brings is months of frustration for the date writing people of Australia who, time after time, write the year as 2019, instead of 2020.  Only a few days into the new year and Damo Ashfield (49) has already made the mistake 6...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today braved the smoke of Canberra to announce that the Federal Government will establish a new agency aimed at doing all the stuff he should have been orchestrating before his decision to go on a resort holiday to Hawaii in the peak of the NSW bushfire season. After being unable to continue pointing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some bad news for the bushfire ravaged country of Australia, authorities are predicting that things are set to get even worse over the coming weeks. With the nation desperate for a reprieve from the awful bushfires, emergency services chiefs have today warned that they are bracing for a critical shortage of Test cricket. That announcement comes as the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The arguably made-up anti-hazard-reduction policies of the Australian Greens are this week being blamed for the fact that Western Sydney experienced the hottest day ever on record over the weekend. Temperatures across Australia's south east have soared over the weekend as parts of NSW came close to 50 degrees. Penrith, in Sydney's west, hit a record-breaking 48.9 degrees...