World News

Deporting World’s Best Tennis Players Fails To Resolve Australia’s Drastic Fresh Food Shortages

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia is once again at the centre of global headlines, after our previously unknown Immigration minister Alex Hawke came to the defence of Scott Morrison and cancelled Novak Djokovic's visa on the grounds of 'public interest'. Novak Djokovic arrived in Australia just over a week ago, with plans to win a 10th Australian Open title. The 34-year-old was gunning...

Kevin Costner Finally Forgiven For Waterworld

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hollywood boomer sex icon Kevin Costner has been forgiven for all of his sins in the mid-nineties, it has been confirmed. This comes as Yellowstone's Season 4 finale, which aired on January 2nd, was the show's most-watched episode to-date with 9.3 million US viewers. The most-watched TV telecast since the Season 8 premiere of The Walking Dead, which drew...

Pope Francis Relaxes Even More Rules: “You Can Definitely Come To Church Stoned. It’s Cool Bro”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After dragging the Catholic Church into the 21st Century kicking and screaming, the 266th Pope has today relaxed even more rules. After already making his stance known as a supporter of reforming views towards abortion, gay marriage and adultery - the former Argentinian nightclub bouncer turned Bishop Of Rome has today reiterated that he's a pretty chill guy. After telling...

Report: The Shining Is Definitely A Christmas Movie

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT When it comes to naming the most essential Christmas movies, there are titles that come to mind straight away: It’s a Wonderful Life, Love Actually, Miracle on 34th Street, Home Alone. Hollywood Christmas movies as a genre need to include wholesome storytelling - and themes of winter, food and family. Films that can be enjoyed with the family over...

Bob Sinclair Finally Coming To Terms With The Fact We Might Not Be The Love Generation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While many are looking to the future with some hope that the worst of this spicy cough is behind us, international figure Bob Sinclar has concluded that he's not so positive. The French DJ responsible for the iconic 2005 hit 'Love Generation' has revealed in an exclusive interview with The Advocate that he has finally embraced the fact...

Kim Kardashian Gives Australian Women The Encouragement They Needed To Visit Local Skate Park

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American superstar Kim Kardashian and millennial stand up comedian Pete Davison have confirmed their relationship today by holding hands in exclusive photos obtained by paparazzis over the weekend. The deeply invested Kardashian fanbase are going wild over the pairing of Kim, 41, and the 28-year-old Saturday Night Live star who are now in a romantic relationship - after weeks...

New Zealand Officially In Recession After All Blacks Second Straight Loss

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Jacinda Ardern has greeted the people of New Zealand with a rather sobering message today, declaring that the nation is now formally in recession. The Prime Minister made the announcement this morning after the All Blacks second straight loss over the weekend, signalling a grim few months ahead. "After that performance against the French on Sunday morning, the...

“We Need To Stand Up For Taiwan” Says Australia After Watching The USA De-Stabilise Half Of The Middle East, South East Asia, Central And South America

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After decades of standing by and watching our greatest ally de-stabilise and destroy a multitude of autonomous nations, Australia has decided to stand up for 'freedom' this week. With our greatest trading partner flexing its muscles and continuing to strong-arm the regions of Taiwan and Hong Kong, the likes of Peter Dutton and Tony Abbott have made a...

Fellow World Leaders Give Scotty The Controller That’s Not Plugged In

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a final humiliation on the world stage, Prime Minister Scott Morrison was spotted playing Nintendo with other world leaders using a controller that wasn’t plugged in. During the recreational segment of what some are calling the most urgent meeting of world leaders in this century, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau produced a Nintendo 64 with four controllers and...

Macron: “Raise Your Hand If You’ve Been Personally Victimised by Morrison Leaking Text Messages”

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Another tough week for Scott Morrison has gotten even worse today, with newfound nemesis Emmanuel Macron taking the public humiliation to the next level. The tit for tat between he and the French President has involved blatant lying, leaked text messages, and plenty of shit-talking behind the scenes. The Australian Prime Minister has now been treated to public...

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