Jacinda Ardern has greeted the people of New Zealand with a rather sobering message today, declaring that the nation is now formally in recession.

The Prime Minister made the announcement this morning after the All Blacks second straight loss over the weekend, signalling a grim few months ahead.

“After that performance against the French on Sunday morning, the country has now slid into economic decline,” Ardern explained.

Traditionally the working definition of a recession is two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth as measured by a country’s gross domestic product.

However, in New Zealand, a recession can also be declared after two consecutive negative results for the All Blacks.

That occurred this weekend past, with All Blacks compounding their 29-20 defeat to the Irish with a 40-25 loss to the French.

Now, our neighbour’s economy has now gone into a nosedive.

The two losses came after the All Blacks started their Northern Hemisphere tour surprisingly well, thumping European powerhouses Italy and a C string US team.

With 9 months until their next International Rugby test, Prime Minister Ardern has been urged by local economists to look at opening the taps on significant stimulus packages to kick start things again.

“The economy needs a massive injection to correct the horrendous recession caused by the ABs losing,” said Auckland based economist today.

“Whether it’s doing up the Community Hall, or putting an extra room onto the Auckland Hospital, Cinda needs to look at opening the purse strings to get the economy chugging.”

“Otherwise we are going to have to sell at least 3 or 4 more head of livestock to China”

Prime Minister Ardern has yet to reveal what action will be taken, with locals hoping tomorrow’s press conference will bring better news.


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