LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a final humiliation on the world stage, Prime Minister Scott Morrison was spotted playing Nintendo with other world leaders using a controller that wasn’t plugged in.
During the recreational segment of what some are calling the most urgent meeting of world leaders in this century, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau produced a Nintendo 64 with four controllers and suggested a game of Super Smash Brothers.
Although he was not invited to play the classic console, witnesses report hearing Scotty yell “bags Kirby!” before sitting down to play a world leader’s version of the classic button mashing 2D fighter.
“There you go Scott, here’s a special controller just for you,” stated French President Emmanuel Macron as he handed Scott Morrison an extra controller that is not plugged in.
“Remember, it’s the best of three!”
Mr Morrison was then heard making a loud declaration of war before sitting through several rounds of gameplay without noticing he was not controlling an on-screen character.
“Get ready to suck eggs noob-heads!” declared the Prime Minister as he furiously worked the joystick of the disconnected controller.
“Loser has to actually do the things they said they would at this summit!”
Giving a guest an untethered controller is a technique used by older cousins the world over, usually to satisfy the wants of a younger relative who may not notice their controller is not plugged in and sit peacefully by thinking they are involved.
Now that this strategy has been used by world leaders to subdue our own Prime Minister.
According to the Prime Minister, however, it is a big fuss over nothing and the media is missing out on a crucial detail.
“Guys, it’s fine, I won! You should have seen it, I one hitted Macaron [sic] with the baseball bat, straight into the sky!”