EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A woman who went to see the iron claw with the pure intention of watching some attractive blokes wrestle has found herself sorely regretting her decision this week, after spending the entire second half of the movie violently sobbing in her seat.

Having never heard of the tragic Von Erich family ‘curse’, Darcy Whitlock admits she had gone to the movies with the sole intention of watching her favourite white boy of the month, Jeremy Allen White, in what she thought would be some kind of feel good, rag to riches, Rocky Balboa style movie.

But how wrong she was.

Speaking to our reporter, Darcy says a cacophony of sobbing could be heard throughout the cinema, as mutliple women were left trying to wipe away their streaked mascara.

“I won’t give too much away, but the boat scene completely unravelled me”, says Darcy, her eyes starting to water, “the brothers loved each other so much.”

“They just wanted to please their stupid fucking dad.”

“Oh, and the scene with the kids!”

“Fuck, I’m going to start up again.”

More to come.

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