EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Brisbane airport parking staff member sent drivers into a panic yesterday afternoon, by taking his job a little too seriously.

Though dropping off passengers is always a stressful experience, seeing as you’re only allowed to be in the express lane for two minutes before an angry staff member waves you on, Brisbane airport’s newest recruit, Simon Moore, has taken ‘express lane’ to a whole other level – by forcing passengers to jump out of moving cars.

Drivers dropping off their loved ones Thursday afternoon report that Moore was seen screaming ‘DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP! JUMP OUT! JUMP OUT NOW! MOVE MOVE MOVE! JUMP NOW YOU FUCKING PUSSY!’ whilst simultaneously gesturing a rolling motion.

“I’ve never been so stressed in my life”, says Thomas Jennings, 32, who confirms he was one of the several people spotted jumping out of a car, “I’ve completely fucked my shoulder.”

Despite Moore earning numerous complaints, Brisbane Airport CEO, Agnes Belmore, 45, says yesterday marked the only day no one missed their flights.

“Now that’s what we call innovation.”

“The express lane has never been quicker.”

More to come.

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