MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Local man Darren Mitchell (37) was left devastated today after ordering a bacon and egg roll from a fancy cafe, only to discover that it came served on high-quality bread instead of the sweet, cheap alternative he had been craving.
Last weekend Darren’s sacred Saturday sleep-in came to an end due to an impromptu coastal walk, an idea from his partner. While Darren assured the Advocate he was totally stoked with the idea of an 8am hike in the middle of May during his only sleep-in for the week, he also noted that it would be a chance for him to grab Australia’s favourite breaky, a bacon and egg roll.
Darren was instantly suspicious of the coastal cafe upon arrival.
“French name, tick, 4 Cavoodles tied up out the front, tick, apple store aesthetic inside, tick.”
Darren didn’t let that stop him ordering his favourite breakfast.
“How can you mess up a Bacon egg roll? that’s what makes it so good, you can’t go wrong.” He told himself.
He was wrong.
Upon receiving his roll Darren’s confidence quickly turned to despair as he held his breakfast encased in what can only be described as good-quality bread – a far cry from the beloved cheap, sugary hard shell rolls that teleport him to his childhood weekend soccer games every time he eats them.
“I couldn’t believe it.” He said.
“Sourdough?! it’s not even a roll, it’s a sandwich! Call it what it is! I could take this to the fair trade!” Darren’s bacon egg roll discovery had seemed to have broken Darren’s already fragile cool that morning.
Onlookers, who witnessed Darren’s anguish from a safe distance, described his reaction as a mix of disbelief, anger, and a hint of existential crisis.
“Ah yeah, a classic bacon and egg bait and switch, see ’em all the time” said Ned Fergus (68) a local from the area.
As Darren struggled to come to terms with the cruel twist of fate that had ruined his breakfast, he couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would mess with a tried and true formula that had served the masses for generations.
