The resilient people of Brisbane have been left to pick up the pieces today, after welcoming more than 140,000 rugby league to their city Friday through to Sunday.

In its fifth year, the NRL Magic Round sold out in record time, and played host to every single bucks party in Australia over the weekend.

With eight NRL matches taking place on the same field at Suncorp Stadium, plus a Women’s Origin match on the Thursday night, Brisbane’s famous Caxton Street has seen 72 hours of of full-blown debauchery. The type that no longer has a place in the more wowser Southern cities.

While the Queensland capital can boast a weekend of record-breaking cash injections for the hospitality and hotel sector, the actual residents of Brisbane also had to contend with 300 neckless titans arriving to play footy, and then get rugby league drunk in their hometown.

As was reported by The Betoota Advocate on Saturday, over 98 alcohol-fuelled melees that directly involved current or former NRL players were recorded in Fortitude Valley on the opening night of this carnival of rugby league – Queensland Health can also report that up to 16 seperate Instagram influencers have since been impregnated and left to raise bastard children on their own.

With the city literally torn apart in the excitement, many residents would be asking themselves if playing host to this chaotic invention of NRL cowboy creativity is actually worth it.

Much like how the people of Canberra are gradually growing tired of hosting every revhead in the country for Summernats – is the Magic Round at risk of being too much fun!?

Queensland Premier Steven Miles says no.

“Personally, I find Magic Round to be an example of Brisbane at its best”

“The Caxton Street Seafood and Wine festival is always fun. But Magic Round is that on steroids. It keeps us real. Nowhere else in Australia would host a party this big for 3 days in their most popular inner-city suburbs”

As Premier Miles points out, Magic Round has become the perfect antidote for the increasing inner-city NIMBYism that his government faces in their attempts to build basic infrastructure and housing.

“These yuppie fucks can’t argue with hosting an Olympics now. They can’t even argue against my planned developments. The city has been razed by these leagues. Who gives a fuck about your old school house, we are building two more stadiums”

” Every Magic Round we host is another much needed assault on the gentrification of the Brown Snake. I’d host the whole season here if I could, we basically did that during the pandemic anyway”


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