CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An agribusiness nerd who has spent the week annoying Queensland cattlemen in Rockhampton with his creepy intensive farming technology has finally been told where to go.
Calvin Caspian (44) is clearly a Beef Week first-timer, judging by his arrogant attitude towards the very reason that 115,000 people are gathered in Central Queensland.
After 3 full days of talking absolute shit and basically urging graziers to turn their operations into into battery farms, Calvin has tonight made a fatal gaffe.
Standing at the front bar of the Criterion Hotel and Motel, the 44-year-old West End yuppie made a point of ‘mixing it up a bit’.
As he quickly learnt, Beef Week is in no way the place to mix it up a bit. Even when it’s starting to come out like pellets from the other end – this is not the time to go off-menu.
In front of an array of different farmers and industry professionals whose drinks he hadn’t even paid for on his company card, Calvin did just that.
“Mmmm I feel like something a bit different” he declares loudly, while perusing the bistro menu.
“Oh. Haha. Looks like it’s Beef Week all year round in this joint”
“I guess I’ll have to Surf and Turf. Hold the turf. Just the prawns and chips thanks mate”
Criterion’s resident bar-fly Denham Fitzroy (66) saw it all happen in real time.
“It was unbelievable. The hide on this bloke”
“Vegetarian is one thing. Nobodies arguing with a vegetarian. But to order seafood. In this pub. On bloody Beef Week. I’ve seen it all mate”
“He deserves everything he got”
Within minutes of his highly offensive comments, Calvin found himself ‘pretzeled’ from behind by security, before thrown to the curb on Quay street and handed a life ban from the pub.
Denham says the crowd cheered as Calvin’s insulting actions were immediately dealt with.
“Look after 72 hours of steak sangers and sausage, the idea of a side salad is fair enough”
“But this bloke knew what he was doing. It was a slap in the face for not just agriculture but Rockhampton as a whole”
