CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An army of the Sunshine Coast’s erratic post-war Australians have today declared war against the Labor Government that they brought into power with extreme pandemic swing-voting.
The Caloundra boomers, who are tree-changing blow-ins themselves, are absolutely livid to learn about the introduction of decent public transport services that will bring waves of out-of-towners to their beachside town.
They say that their coastal town, which is less than 100 kilometres north of the third biggest city in Australia, will end up looking like a coastal town that is less than 100 kilometres north of the third biggest city in Australia.
186 years since Queensland was first established, the state government has finally announced plans to connect Brisbane and the beaches to its north by rail – after designating $5.5 billion for the project that aims to be semi-operational before the 2032 Olympics.
In its first stage ‘The Direct Sunshine Coast Rail Line’ will be 19 kilometres long from the northernmost Brisbane rail hub of Beerwah to Caloundra, with long-term planning for the line to travel further north along the beaches, before redirecting toward the region’s central business hub of Maroochydore.
Speaking to the Betoota Advocate this morning, local Boomer, Shelly (74) says this is not what she signed up for when she destroyed two marriages by having an affair in 2002 before fleeing rural Victoria to remarry a much richer man and relocating to the Sunshine Coast.
“We loved this place because it was quiet and didn’t have any Indig…. I mean, it didn’t have any of the riff raff that you see in other towns”
“Decent public transport options will ruin this”
Her husband, Marcus (78) agrees.
“We aren’t the only ones who feel this way. Everyone at the golf club is ropeable!”
“If we knew that this is what we’d get under a Labor government, we wouldn’t have all swung over from the Liberals for the first time in our lives after Palaszczuk vowed to keep the borders locked shut for two years”
It is not known when construction will begin on this project, or whether it will be completed in time for any of these complainants to have to ever worry about it.
