With this year’s flu season kicking off earlier than usual, it seems that the nation has simply made peace with the fact that sometimes we are going to have to be exposed to people who have a runny nose or chesty cough.

As a cost-of-living crisis collides with a general defiance of public health orders, it seems people are just going to go to work so that they can stay on top of their shit.

And employers need them at work, regardless of whether or not they are making everyone else sick.

This comes just two years after the pandemic lockdowns officially ended for good. Prior to that, to leave the house with these same symptoms was an offence punishable by public execution, or at least public shaming on social media.

However, the hysteria has subsided in recent years, now that visibly ill citizens are able to argue ‘nahh it’s just a cold or something’.

Local Betoota Ponds warehouse packing team manager, Willie O’Meley (33), says he has lost his taste, has a persisting headache and chesty cough, and is experiencing extreme body aches.

“But fuck it” he says.

“These containers aren’t unpacking themselves. And I’ll fucking cark it on the job before these shifts get taken by someone else”

Local event planner, Shelly Barton (28, Betoota Grove) also says she’s not going to let the sniffles put her behind at work.

“Yeah.. I’ll just take 12 days off until I test negative [laughter]”

“Get real”

NSW Health indicate approximately 5,160 people across the state were diagnosed with the flu in April, an increase of more than 20 per cent from the same time last year. Some say this could be the result of a much colder April than usual, others say it’s because our immune systems still have a long way to go before they are become as impenetrable as they were in 2019 – before the entire nation was locked inside for two years and safe from any bacteria.

Similar numbers have been reported in Queensland and WA, which can only suggest a lot more cases are coming in what experts predict to be catastrophic flu season.

However, it’s just the flu.

Also known as influenza, the flu was once considered a debilitating infectious disease. With only 3-5 million severe cases reportedly globally per year – and not even 650,000 deaths per year – it’s hardly coronavirus.


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