The Nation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the federal election on the horizon, Prime Minister/guy who got stuck covering a shift after everyone else bailed, Scott Morrison, has hired an entourage of six men named ‘Macca’ in order to seem more Australian. Although Mr Morrison leads polls as preferred PM to opposition leader Bill Shorten, the Prime Minister is failing to beat other viable...

TRACY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT A new year brings with it optimism and a chance for a fresh start. What it also brings is months of frustration for the date writing people of Australia who, time after time, write the year as 2018, instead of 2019.  Only a few days into the new year and Damo Ashfield (29) has already made the mistake 6...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Folk stories of old and advertising agency’s consumer profiles indicate that Australians love to cheer for an underdog. However, it appears this time honoured tradition may have its limits as support for Bill Shorten continues to be as lukewarm and uninspired as the man himself. From the 1983 America’s Cup victory to Ned Kelly’s last stand at the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Organisers of the 'political meeting' at St Kilda Beach have today condemned the Summernats car festival for distracting their supporter base. Police are on high alert ahead of a planned rally of extreme right-wing ‘patriots’ in Melbourne today, with opposition expected in the shape of people who don't think Hitler was that good of a bloke. Highly competitive rival...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A tentative look into Nan’s fridge to see if she has any chilled Lido has uncovered a bag of chocolate bullets that appear to have lasted longer than Australia’s previous seven Prime Ministers. The chocolate coated licorice sticks with all the aesthetic quality of possum pooh and the taste sensation of cheap chocolate wrapped around aniseed, appear to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the NSW Government and residential developers in Sydney face scrutiny over the possibility that every one of the 40,000 new high-rise apartments that were rushed through planning processes since the 2001 Olympics may be structural unsound, Premier Gladys Berejiklian has quickly moved to find positives in the recent Opal Tower disaster. This comes as a number of...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the nation rushes to miss Paris Agreement emissions targets, a new threat has appeared as carpenter Gavin Rutledge (32) opened the passenger door of his Commodore VE ute on a windy day, creating a new garbage island off the coast of Queensland. The tradesman was on his way to the work site when he stopped at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Trains in the nation's worst city have been plunged into chaos this afternoon after a Sydney Trains employee discovered an errant bottle of human piss on the tracks near Central. Trains on all lines were affected by the discovery, which forced the closure of stations in the inner city for close to an hour. The...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent study conducted by Australia's peak scentific body, the CSIRO, has concluded and confirmed that Generation X are nothing but junior boomers who like Star Wars. Speaking this morning to a handful of journalists outside the Organisation's headquarters in Canberra, spokesman Larry Bernk said the findings weren't that surprising and were largely expected. "Most...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "We can't put out a newspaper with blank pages in it!" he yelled. "I don't care what it is, for the love of Blue Christ, go out and find me some fucking stories before I lose my shit." The Advocate's editor Clancy Overell was in a far more chipper mood yesterday after he returned home to...