Organisers of the ‘political meeting’ at St Kilda Beach have today condemned the Summernats car festival for distracting their supporter base.

Police are on high alert ahead of a planned rally of extreme right-wing ‘patriots’ in Melbourne today, with opposition expected in the shape of people who don’t think Hitler was that good of a bloke.

Highly competitive rival patriots, Blair Cottrell and Nigel Erikson, who founded the anti-Islam group United Patriots Front, have called for their supporters to gather at St Kilda Beach this afternoon to “take a stand” against 6 foot African teenagers who where hooded jumpers and behave like teenagers in public spaces, while also being black.

However, today’s rally has been ultimately underwhelming, with most of the patriot supporter base pre-occupied with watching cars do burn outs until their tyres explode.

“Godammit” said one organiser, Herman.

“Why didn’t someone think about Summernats. There’s more fucken cops here than patriots”

Gatherings held by these groups in the past have often attracted opposing demonstrations by left-wing and anti-racism protesters, with some turning violent, because Melbourne is the most racist place in Australia.

This week, several so-called ‘patriots’ called for a Cronulla Riots-style event, invoking the infamous week of brawling in Sydney in 2005, the type of thing that happens usually when the public are bored on holidays.


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