Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man has caused headaches for all of his friends today. The late 20-something-man named Ben Thomspon has done so by deciding to propose to his long-term girlfriend. His proposal this afternoon to his soon-to-be wife has caused tremors amongst his friendship group. The tremors stem from the fact that Thompson's actions have now put all of his friends and...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Sitting in a meeting at a local marketing agency, Simon Harper, a soulless suit, has just laughed at what he’s pretty sure is a joke told by his client, Emma. In the real world, the attempt at humour would be met with crickets, however, in this instance, Simon was required to laugh – well, he thinks he was meant...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Ambiguously titled IT Technician Bevan Blake (33) has protected the privacy of his uninteresting life by sticking a piece of tape over his webcam. Known throughout his company for promising to provide IT support and occasionally showing up to do it, Blake is now gaining a reputation as somewhat of a tinfoil hat type who thinks the government...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Work colleague Tracey Rhiannon (34) may have overstepped some boundaries this week by telling younger co-workers they “need to see the world” - like she did when she spent three weeks blind drunk in Europe ten years ago. Aged beyond her years, Rhiannon occasionally feels the need to state that her age makes her a wise and experienced...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local chippy has let his social media followers know that they should be pretty jealous of him today. Kayden James (23) did so by posting a photo of the picturesque location he is working at and titling it 'Todays Office.' The young man uploaded the photo from a location on the coast today where he and his boss are...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Pulling up at the lights on Greens Road in Betoota Heights, local Uber driver Bill Stroker clunked his late model automatic Holden Cruze in park as the lights turned red. His passenger, Butter Waterford, was confused. She thought long and hard as to why he'd done that. Where they about to get out and walk the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sadly, the bollards are still bolted to the ground at Remienko International Aerodrome after the unpleasantness in Sydney all those years ago. However, that fact is largely being credited with saving the life of a remarkably unpopular city worker today after he abused a female staff member because she said the man's bag is overweight and would have to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter man has confided in The Advocate today about something that happened to him on the weekend that left him with an odd feeling in his stomach. Dylan Westacott said he was railroaded into complimenting his friend's strange-looking baby on Saturday afternoon at a Christmas barbeque - something he says creeped him out. "That...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "So how was it?" he asked. "Great, it was really fun." "How was the music?" he asked. "Great, it was really fun." With her EmuPass still on the floor of a rented Hyundai iMax outside Betoota Airport, Lucy Steerson was forced to buy another one this morning just so she'd be able to get the bus to work. This...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The entire workplace of Lorigan And Co Accountants in Betoota Heights have today been treated to the news that next week's staff Christmas party will be at one of the grossest pubs in the area. Mainly due to the fact that Lanny from the front desk loves punching darts, and is also in charge of organising the event. Whispers...