Local News

Substitute Praised For Successfully Pronouncing Ethnic Last Name With More Than 2 Syllables

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recent substitute teacher, Andrew Smith (23) has today blown away his temporary Grade 7 class at South Betoota Primary School by his ability to correctly pronounce one of the more complicated student surnames. During the 9am roll call, Mr Smith showed his worldliness by successfully pronouncing 13-year-old Sarah Remienko's 'exotic' family name. The newly certified educator paused...

Relief As 4th-Grade Captain Arrives In Taxi Five Minutes Before Kick-Off

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After briefly panicking that their side might have to forfeit, the Betoota Dolphins 4th-graders were relieved this morning - as team captain 'Bryza' arrived in a local taxi - just minutes before their long-anticipated clash against the Bedourie Steelers. Local 4th-grade captain, Bryson Yulli (30) arrived at Remienko Oval carrying a plastic bag of KFC...

Privately-educated hipster really digging on Mac DeMarco’s new sound

3 May, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A hip youth living in Betoota's trendy Old City district took time out of his busy morning to drop into the offices of The Advocate to explain just how happy he is with the direction US singer-songwriter Mac DeMarco has taken with his new LP. Though none of our staff asked him,...

Local Publican Under Impression Patrons Enjoy Playing Pool On A Hexagonal Table

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Many East Betoota punters were left scratching their heads earlier this week after a prominent local publican made the decision to put a hexagonal pool table in his popular establishment. The Royal Commerical Hotel has been an East Betootanese drinking institution for nearly two hundred years and despite undergoing a number of facelifts and renovations,...

Suburban Motorist Shows Working Class Solidarity By Giving Two-Finger-Wave To Stop Go Man

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local motorist, Josh Croucher (34) is high on life after today's interaction with a traffic controller, who was directing cars around a new road sealing project in the back streets behind his Betoota Heights office. After roughly four to five minutes of uncomfortable eye contact, the traffic controller received radio confirmation that motorists were now...

Soundcloud rapper defends the use of RhymeZone.com in his songwriting

1 May, 2017. 10:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A prominent South Betoota teenager has lashed out at the suggestion that using RhymeZone cheapens his craft and challenged anyone who thought differently to come down to the Wentworth Road skate park and say it to his face. RhymeZone is a popular internet website that finds rhymes for a word you give...

Local Creep Saves Mint Leaves Lollies Until Last

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local weirdo has spent the last couple of days subconsciously navigating around the Homebrand spearmint lollies on the kitchen bench. The reason? Because he likes them the most and wants to save the best until last. 30-year-old IKEA floor manager, Bevan Cochrane says the missus doesn't often let him tear open a 400 gram of...

Local Socialite Plays Shy And Looks Away From Camera After Asking For Photo

ROY MARTIN | WA | CONTACT In a move that’s been labelled as “bold” and “daring” by members of Betoota’s social circuit, local woman Bella Vacante has looked shyly towards the ground in a social photo that has the scene buzzing. “After the backlash pouting like a duck received following its explosion in 2015, us girls have been looking for something that almost gives...

Local Riff Raff Redlines The LowLux In Third Gear To Show Off His New Fuck Off Cannon Exhaust

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A South Betoota meat worker has taken time out of his busy afternoon of talking shit on Facebook and spitting in public to speak about his evening plans and what other types of mischief he's going to get up to tonight. Deverell Slacks, 19, told The Advocate that he's saved up all week to fill...

Local FM Radio Station Apologises For Unprecedented 20-Min Gap Between Ed Sheeran Songs

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A top-rating Betoota FM radio station has been forced to apologise after failing to warn listeners that there'd be a 20-min gap between Ed Sheeran songs, which led to an unprecedented 600 complaints made to the broadcast ombudsman. Catfish 98.1FM took time out of the popular afternoon drive program, Harvs & Henn, to say sorry to their...

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