Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Over a few casual beers this afternoon, Vietnamese mate Martin Vo has accidentally revealed that he used to spend most Thursday's nights in the Maccas car park with his cousins from Betoota's Flight Path District. After a conversation about the latest Fast and the Furious movie turned into a debate, Martin revealed his close involvement in the underground...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular Tamworth highway diner, Red Rooster, has become Red Rooter overnight in solidarity with their embattled local member Barnaby Joyce. The restaurant's manager had the brainwave yesterday afternoon and went about removing the 'S' from their sign after close. "I just thought it'd be nice to show him and The Nationals some support," said manager Randy...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A person who works in an office with a computer for money has had a nostalgic episode this afternoon as his workplace's internet speed has slowed to a turtle's pace. Brett Hastings, who our reporter understands might work in insurance or tax down in the city's Financial District, explained to The Advocate that he hasn't visibly watched a megabyte download...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For the second time this year, Greg Pouch of Betoota Heights is currently without a phone. Just how the 28-year-old came to lose his phone is a mystery even to him - let alone those who are lucky enough to call him a close friend. Rather than trudge it out until the end of his current phone plan, which is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Peter Mulligon, a Glenn Innes man-of-the-land, has expressed his outrage and disgust to The Advocate this morning at the prospect of having to go back to the polls shortly for another by-election. Though the 51-year-old says he'd vote for the Nationals candidate again, he drew the line at endorsing the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce. "Mate,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moments after two men dressed in the same clothes walking out from the smoking pokies, Dale Tuckham thought it was about time he let his two friends in on a little secret. "We're living in a simulation, you know?" he said. "A what?" said Annie Brown, who followed Dale and his roommate Tom down to their corner gastropub for dinner this...

LAUREN McVEIGH | Maternity | Contact A local young professional has declined an offer this morning to hold her friend's new baby, according to witnesses. Amy Fastman, a French Quarter commercial real estate specialist, went to a brunch this morning in town with friends and their growing families - all the while Amy barely able to feed and clothe herself. She joined our reporter out the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Network Seven has confirmed this morning to reporters that they purchased the broadcasting rights to the speed skating at this year's PyeongChang Olympic Winter Games. The question was raised after the popular television channel began exclusively showing the sport, which is the only event Australia has won a gold medal in. But as there's a smorgasbord of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Brisbane-based accountant arrived home in Betoota Heights this morning after an arduous two-day journey. The first thing he did after putting his bags down was to put his feet up. Everything was going great. The cricket was on, Dad was sitting shirtless out the back reading The Australian. Mum had just put some party pies...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Smokers across the nation are today rejoicing at the ground-breaking results of a decade-long study into how best to mask the smell left behind after smoking a cigarette. The study, carried out by Australia’s lead scientific body, CSIRO, indicates that spraying Lynx deodorant 2cm-8cm away from your index and middle fingers will completely...