Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Luke Rathbone has confirmed this afternoon that he is ready to take his business to the next level. The 29-year-old pest-controller from Betoota Heights did so after revealing his new uniform and new logo to The Advocate this afternoon. "Not bad aye," Rathbone said to our reporters down at the Dogs Leg pub in the Heights a few moments...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local Betoota Ponds man who remembered Valentines Day for the first time in his 4-year relationship has burnt through all of his newly earned brownie points over the weekend. Michael Hawkins (29) was feeling pretty chuffed with himself for remembering the big day, and thought he might treat himself to a schooner or two over the weekend. That was...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Sitting back watching TV from his half-renovated living room, Jez Walker wonders if the teenage rock enthusiast in a Bunnings uniform talking about eaves and guttering really has much of an idea about home improvement at all. The rock enthusiast, or Decklan as his name tag suggests, is one of the many Bunnings employees who star in the home improvement giant’s commercials. In...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Last night Brittany Minkville and her housemates hosted a party for over 150 people at their 3-bedroom terrace in the French Quarter. The bottles, vomit and other debris make it look more like 3000 this morning. Reports from the scene indicate that Brit and her housemates are about to commence the clean-up process but can’t until their mate, Carl,...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact June Daily, and more so her husband Rodney, got a rude shock this afternoon upon opening their latest bill from Betoota Waterways. “Jesus Christ, Juney!” proclaimed Rodney. “Someone’s stealing our water, we’ve got a bill here for over $1000” It’s believed that June initially wasn’t sure how to let Rodney know that she was in fact the reason for the astronomical...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT What was meant to be a heart warming and lung destroying smoko between an inner circle of work colleagues turned to absolute shit as the manager joined the group, in a desperate attempt to socialise with the people who hate him. It is believed Site Manager Daly Wayne (44) is yet to gain the respect of his crew,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Earlier this week residents of a French Quarter share house experienced the rare phenomenon of having a maintenance request answered. It appears the residents may have celebrated too soon as their landlord, former accountant Geronimo Shah (68), says there is no need to involve contractors or the council, as he should be able to take care of the...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local cheapskate has peaked in life today after being invited into a corporate box at the Betoota Cricket Ground. He shared the news with his Instagram followers by uploading a story consisting of a close up shot of a crisp schooner on a table, with the rest of the grandstand and pitch slightly out of focus in...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “Mate, I can swim way faster than you!” Bryan Maison skited to his clearly fitter friend. “On what planet?” laughed Joel Addington. “What makes you think that you’re a better swimmer than me?” asked Joel. “In primary school I was age-champion for swimming every single year, I was so fast people thought I had gills and flippers!” It’s believed that Joel was...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A recent report looking what the world’s sweatiest thing is has revealed that something in Australia has taken out the prized number one spot – even ahead of a taxi driver in an ’89 Camry driving through Texas with the windows up and no air-con. In what can only be described as a great honour for Queenslanders, the report...