Earlier this week residents of a French Quarter share house experienced the rare phenomenon of having a maintenance request answered.

It appears the residents may have celebrated too soon as their landlord, former accountant Geronimo Shah (68), says there is no need to involve contractors or the council, as he should be able to take care of the structural fault himself.

“I fix this thing all the time [sic],”  stated Shah as he eyed the deep crack running through the middle of the terrace house that was functioning as a highly effective cockroach highway.

“Piece of easy cake.”

After climbing through the window into his 1992 Nissan NX, Shah drove home and returned with a wooden ladder duct taped to his roof and a friend who was older than him who he introduced only as ‘Chief.’

Using Shah’s semi-runged ladder, the pair climbed to the ceiling of the terrace house and began filling the beginning of the crack that seemed to divide the home in two with used pieces of aluminium foil.

“Now the water, it can’t get in.”

Following this, the pair took a break to smoke a packet of cigarettes each on the roof before rain began to fall, realising they couldn’t get down and having to construct a rope out of their shirts and trousers to abseil down the side of the house.

Standing wet underneath his makeshift rope of clothes wearing only his underwear, Shah informed the tenants the work was done and asked if they wouldn’t mind paying rent in cash this week.

“All done, fixed. Now who has the money?”


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