TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

“Mate, I can swim way faster than you!” Bryan Maison skited to his clearly fitter friend.

“On what planet?” laughed Joel Addington.

“What makes you think that you’re a better swimmer than me?” asked Joel.

“In primary school I was age-champion for swimming every single year, I was so fast people thought I had gills and flippers!”

It’s believed that Joel was left a little dumbfounded by Bryan’s statement, having to second guess what he’d just heard before bursting into a fit of laughter.

“Fucken’ what!?”

“Primary school? Mate, you’re 30!”

While Joel is fitter than Bryan by a mile, once upon a time Bryan may have in fact beaten Joel in a swimming race.

But, that was back when he was in primary school, before he discovered binge drinking and cigarettes.

“Your sporting achievements hold about as much value as your bloody crypto portfolio, mate.”

“And I don’t think I’d be skiting about either of those things if I were you,” said Joel before bursting into another fit of laughter. 

At this point Bryan thought about doubling down on his claims, but the comment about his crypto make it a little too personal and he was getting emotional.

“Yeah, well fuck off mate, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”


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