Chicken flavour sachets are out and mystery meats are in for a local student tonight, as a young Betootian treats themself to the luxuries of a food court dinner.

In news that is sure to warm the heart of anyone weighed down by a HECs debt, The Advocate can report Tyler Dunsten, a second-year engineering student at South Betoota Polytechnic College, has been able to afford a $9 box of Sweet n’ Sour Pork and Fried Rice from the Wok n’ Roll Chinese at Betoota Stocklands.

“Wow, I forgot how good real food tastes,” said Tyler, as he ripped the plastic wrapping off a knife and fork package, and tucked into the grey meat slathered in fluorescent pink sauce.

“Sure it’s been sitting there a while but for $9 this plus some intermittent fasting might get me through until tomorrow night’s dinner.”

Chatting to Tyler as he gulped down gluggy mounds of sweating rice, Tyler says tonight’s fancy dinner is a kind of celebration after a big 24 hours of hard work.

Having stayed up until 3am last night working on an assignment, Tyler says he clocked into his local PetBarn store for a 10 hour shift stacking cement sized bags of dog food and cleaning out fish tanks reeking of fish shit.

But after hearing the government’s plans to reverse last year’s horror indexation hike on HECs debt, Tyler decided he’d skip the instant mashed potato or Mie Goreng, and treat himself to a rare dinner that includes multiple food groups.

“Yeah these HECs changes are probably gonna save me a few thousand bucks in the long run, so you’ve gotta celebrate the little wins right!”

“If I get my HECs down enough in the next 12 months, maybe next year I’ll be able to afford to clean out the last 4 for $5 spring rolls too.”

“You have to dare to dream in this economy!”


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