FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Facebook creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg is still recovering after learning that yet another boomer has unleashed a powerful copy/paste message to prevent Facebook from using their personal data or photos.
The bombshell was dropped at this morning when retired insurance assessor Colleen Haenkel saw the viral message had been posted by a friend and quickly reposted it, thereby immediately granting her data iron-clad immunity against re-use for any purpose.
Just seven minutes later, Zuckerberg was alerted to the action by a breathless junior employee, who burst into a meeting with a printout of the post.
After reading the notice, Zuckerberg was said to have reacted angrily, immediately dismissing the meeting and throwing a Rubik’s cube through a glass partition in a rage.
“This is so unfair,” said the world’s most successful Harvard dropout.
“I create a massive platform for everyone to use for free, and all I want in return is to know everything about everybody so I can sell the information to advertisers. This is the 3rd person who’s invoked this copypasta bullshit this week and it’s really starting to spoil the fun of being a billionaire.”
Meanwhile, back in her modest 4 bedroom Betoota home, Colleen is oblivious to the chaos her re-post has caused in the halls of Silicon Valley.
“I didn’t really read the terms and conditions when I signed up, so it’s important to protect yourself by using legally-binding copypastas to protect your data. The last thing I want is for someone to access the picture I posted of my banana bread last week; who knows what they would use it for?”