In moderately surprising news, the NSW State Government has revealed plans to hand over the operation of suburban driveways to the private sector.

Under the scheme, homeowners will be relieved of the maintenance of their own driveways but will be charged a fixed fee each time they use them.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian said she was confident the Driveway Privatisation Scheme would be embraced by NSW residents and help solve some short-term budget problems. 

“We have already seen enthusiastic acceptance of our current plan of squeezing too many people into an area, followed by handing over the suddenly inadequate infrastructure to a private company to fix, so this just takes it to the next level” Berejiklian stated in a press conference held at her top-secret Koala Processing Facility in Appin, NSW. 

“What we are doing is simply fixing up your old driveway at no up-front cost, which you can pay to the new owner every time you drive in or out”.

When asked whether she was concerned about the potential for traffic congestion caused by residents simply parking on the street for free, Berejiklian said she was confident it would not be an issue.

“I am sure residents will be happy to pay a little extra to get home sooner and avoid the extra travel time involved in walking from the street to the house. Besides, everyone is welcome to park on the street if they wish to do so. As long as they remember to pay for their parking with Macquarie Bank’s new suburban parking meters”.


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