WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
In breaking news out of the North American continent, it looks like the world will not be graced with a hyper-sensitive album from Canadian rapper Drake.
The Toronto Raptors superfan who has been responsible for the crashing and burning of a number of high profile athletes and teams as part of the ‘Drake Curse,’ finally has something to celebrate today.
This comes after the Raptors won their first ever NBA Championship lead by Kawhi ‘The Klaw’ Leonard, defeating the Golden State Warriors.
The victory came in Game 6 of the series in Oakland, after the Warriors managed to look like they were going to take the series to a decider.
More important than the victory for perennial battlers from the North however, is the fact that the world at large has been spared from an incredibly emotional Drake album.
“This is a huge relief for everyone here at our organisation,” explained a spokesperson at Drake’s recording label.
“Honestly, if the Raps had managed to choke after leading 3-1, can you imagine the sob RnB tracks Drake would have come up with.”
“My word, tracks attacking Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson (Golden State Warriors stars) for hurting his feelings, and saying nasty things.”
“Hey yo KD, why’d ya Call me Aubrey, you know hate that, it hurt my feelings,”
“So everyone out there, even people who hate basketball, be thankful that the Raps won, and you won’t be listening to incredibly raw heartbreaking songs in the near future.”