In some great news for US citizens already struggling within a privatised healthcare system, America’s billionaire tech giants have generously offered to help cover the costs of anyone who needs to travel interstate to access medical procedures that have been greatly restricted throughout the country due to the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe Vs Wade.

Tech companies including Microsoft, Amazon, Meta, Apple and Google will cover or reimburse travel expenses related to medical procedures related to reproductive health, after the highest court in the land ruled to strip away these constitutional protections.

There is only one catch, you need to be employed by these companies, and not as a contractor or a driver, you need to be one of those employees that actually gets access to the cool ping pong tables and sleeping pods.

It is not yet known how such a dramatic regression in the rights of American women has been able to be co-opted into a week of of euphoric press release activism, as these tax-dodging multinational corporations vow to help a select few of the middle class to skirt these oppressive laws that have been rushed into place by extremist politicians who enjoy billions of dollars in political donations from these very same trendy tech brands.

Amazon announced in May it would cover up to $4,000 in travel expenses related to these medical procedures, for employees and their dependents covered by two company-offered health plans.

While these companies enjoy the PR fruits of low-effort corporate feminism, it has not yet been clarified if these expenses will be covered for everyone – as the difference between ’employed’ and ’employee’ continues to grow in the indentured gig economy that has seen warehouse staff forced to piss in water bottles mid-shift.

Still, with up to 26 states currently preparing to strip away all protections for the reproductive rights of women, the fundamentalist Christian Republicans that survive on the donations of tech lobbyists have today learnt to keep their hands off the shrinking number of Americans who are lucky enough to have their healthcare tied to an employment contract generously drafted up by these feminist multi-billionaires.


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