Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rednuts everywhere have commended the English cricket side today, after taking to the pitch in South Australia with more rangas than any other professional sporting side in world history. It was during the English anthem that the world was given a good look at the poms, lined up alongside one another with no hats or helmets, in the blazing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THIS AIN'T HOME AND AWAY: Western Sydney UFC heavyweight Bam Bam Tuivasa has notched another brutal knockout in Las Vegas over the weekend, bringing his record to four consecutive wins — all by KO. After struggling through a three-fight losing streak, Tuivasa returned to form last year after relocating to Dubai to avoid Australia's strict hotel quarantine requirements before...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Matildas star Sam 'Roy' Kerr has left the soccer world in shock overnight, after receiving a yellow card for shoulder-charging a pitch invader in England overnight. Kerr was playing for Chelsea against Juventus when a stupid young ran onto the field in an attempt to get a photo with opposing player, Magda Eriksson. Kerr, who was standing near Eriksson on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Betoota Grove dental receptionist, Georgie King (28), says she never thought there would be a day where she gave a shit about any sporting events other than state netball - or whatever grand slam tournaments Venus and Serena were playing in. Growing up as an only child with a father who loathed the inconsistent noise of commercial TV...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a soap operatic November news cycle, The Australian cricket side reshuffle is complete. Steve Smith, who captained Australia for 34 Tests until the fateful ball-tampering scandal is now the vice captain to Pat Cummins. Smudge will likely assume more responsibility than past vice-captains given the fact that the selectors have thrown the side into uncharted territory with their unorthodox...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With another big day of trying to manufacture outrage on the cards, NRL journalists at NewsCorp have decided to reveal to the public how many times a rugby league player might swear in a conversation with an ex-rugby league player. In an exclusive report obtained by watching a podcast that they are loath to name in their story,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American Health officials announced today that a devastating Australian variant has reached North America, with one man nearly hospitalised in New York City last night. Known by the Greek title 'Kambosos' - the Australian variant managed to take down Brooklyn native Teófimo Lopez in the first round of their lightweight title bout, and held on to win a split...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The tragedy of the South Sydney Rabbitohs’ last-minute 2021 Grand Final loss to the Penrith Panthers back in October has been dimmed slightly today, after the club’s diehard fanbase were able to chalk up a rather significant win to finish the year with. The Bunnies NRL season looked to finish with a fairytale this year, with fans hoping...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving that some Millenials do in fact enjoy oppression, Generation Y member Arnie Koscho (25) has gone the whole hog and put a Wests Tigers bumper sticker on the rear of his Toyota Corolla. “Got a good deal on it,” lied Koscho. “Seven thousand dollars at only 200,000 kilometres.” At the time of writing, one of the few things deemed more...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The captain of the Australia team has dropped a bombshell announcement this afternoon. Tim Paine has revealed to the media that he will be standing down as the captain of the national team, after being given Sext and Out. Following on from the traditional backyard cricket rules where anyone who slogs too hard has to walk, Paine is...