Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "There will be some weekend work," she said. "Plus late nights from time to time. Early mornings as well, something I hope you understand. This isn't a lifestyle blog that celebrates foodie culture, Australian music or the internet, this is the Diamantina Evening Tribune." Gregor Townsend pursed his lips and nodded. "I understand," he said smiling. "So what does a normal working...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's peak scientific body has lashed out at the powerful propane lighter lobby today over their continued silence regarding the origins of a certain type of lighter. The CSIRO apologised profusely to the Australian public today in a Canberra press conference for wasting their time and money on such a fruitless endeavour. "Two years and AUD$60m later, we still don't know...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A seemingly competent and level-headed subbie has today opted for what looks like the most uncomfortable stance during his smoko break. While still joining the other blokes for lunch, Mike (or maybe Mark) has politely refused a spare milk crate, and opted to squat. "Mate, you can even cut off a bit of the insulation over there if you don't...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Heading home from work at the end of what was an especially hard Monday, a junior lawyer has received another kick in the guts after seeing just how much his hair loss has progressed by spying himself briefly in on a bus' CCTV monitor. Nathan Singh, of North Betoota, said he was shocked at first by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Productivity is down and thoughts of quitting his job and moving to Ghana are on the up. Matt Greenslade has a bad case of the Mondays and with each passing moment, he hopes that 5 o'clock rolls around without anybody asking him to do anything remotely challenging. "I didn't even get up to much," he told...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A torn slice of Bega cheese on a Jatz bickie is one of the most explosive flavour combinations to come out of Australia in the past decade. It’s become a staple in the diets of many a man, in particular, Toby Gallany (29), who has inadvertently had the dynamic duo for dinner since his...

Betoota Plains cocky Hamish Palmer (28), has today had a haunting realisation. 3 hours into his 8-hour drive home, Mr. Palmer discovered that he had in fact been driving in silence the entire time. Usually the type to listen to Luke Bryan’s greatest hits on repeat, Hamish was quite shaken by this voluntary silence – naturally leading him to further question...

GEOFF OVERELL | Opinion | Contact I was only nine when people started calling me Jeff. For so long, I wondered why I'd drift off to sleep in class or in the playground at lunch. No matter how much sleep I got the night before, it made little difference. So they called me Jeff. It wasn't until I was much older that a diagnosis...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT RSL bartender Merl Evers (45) had to stay late at work last night after asking local farmer Geoff Trainer (66) how things are going, a decision she immediately regretted after Trainer began giving a detailed and honest answer. Despite the fact Evers has become a much-loved staple of Betoota RSL, but even with a quarter century of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local dad, Choc Liston (57) has today made it clear that he's willing to do whatever is necessary to protect himself from the wrath of his wife, Gabby. After allegedly quitting cigarettes a couple years ago, Choc's second-oldest, Rory, has caught the old back out the back of the family home hoeing into a lungbuster, "Busted!" yelled the 16-year-old Rory,...