Local News

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The family of 7-year-old Josie Simpson are mere days away from a serious conversation after she decided that now, out of every other time in life he could have possibly chosen, now is the time he wants to learn how to whistle. As anyone who can whistle remembers, learning how to execute the seemingly simple sound is an incredibly...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the nation adopts to the concept of indoor fitness, Australia’s most iconic television exercise program has revealed making a comeback. Aerobics Oz Style first graced our screen in 1982, before being discontinued on Channel 10 over 15 years ago. However, as of this week, it's back - delivering all of the sexy housewife fitness routines that have been traumatically...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Channel 10 is being applauded today for its decision to bring back the generational sensation that was Cheez TV. The decision comes as the nation cries out for content, and comforting, following the ripping and tearing of the coronavirus crisis. "It should come as some exciting, and some reassuring news for our nation's Millenials, and current children who...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local sales director, Vita Garrison has almost definitely engaged in a bit of after-lunch nookie, it has been confirmed. After close to two months of working from home with her jobseeker-stimulated personal trainer boyfriend Carl, the 27-year-old e-commerce professional seems to be mixing up her daily routine a bit. For her colleagues at Betoota's premier online retailer of fish tank...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As part of Australia’s ongoing fight against COVID-19, Police Forces in all states have taken measures to minimise the risk to themselves and the general public by both enforcing social distancing rules and employing their own precautionary measures. One of the newest operational changes is the transportation of suspects in the boots of patrol cars instead of in the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Between eating her weight in food and silently cursing every smug dickhead broadcasting their at-home gym session, Betoota Heights local Anita Finn has had to fight off some unexpected urges that have come part and parcel of life in quarantine. Chatting to our reporter over the net, who too was attempted to sate her boredom by getting fist...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The world-wide lockdown has spat out some pretty interesting and creative ways people are staying sane while spending every waking hour in their homes; gummy bear choirs, at-home fitness classes, baking, and for some unknown reason, everyone over the age of 30 trying to have a crack at TikTok. Local woman, Kansas Cleary is one of these people, uploading...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a nod to the 2020 equivalent of landed gentry, forklift operator Damien Cummins has updated his Tinder bio to include ‘Essential Worker’ after somehow managing to stay employed during the COVID-19 semi-shutdown. “It’s just to let the ladies know I’m a cut above those non-essentials of the lower class”, explained Damien, as he carefully packed a burr-walnut pipe...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some potentially groundbreaking news out of Betoota's Flight Path District this moring, a local Nonno reckons he knows what this whole COVID-19 thing is about. Speaking to his grandson this morning, Luca Esposito (82) revealed that the coronavirus crisis might actually be manufactured by 'the powerful forces at work.' Unlike the popular conspiracy theory developed by right-wing boomers...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the nationwide lockdown continues, around Australia have had to completely rethink their group chat content sharing habits. What used to be filled with photos of ice-cold schooners, and all sorts of other shit, the group chats are now inundated with photos of what they’re making for dinner. The Advocate reached out to a member from one of Betoota’s...