Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Parish leader of Betoota Heights church, Father Patrick Reiley (68), has recently realised a strange change in his congregation and it’s not the fact that there is one to begin with. Listen here to our interview with controversial Victorian swimmer Mack Horton; you won't want to miss it: During the Sunday service at Saint Geraldine's, Father Reiley noticed that...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A Western Sydney family has lost their home and everything they own after a horrific accident on Tuesday afternoon which destroyed their modest Campbelltown house and everything inside it. Mother of 3 Heather Buckley said she first sensed something was wrong when she heard her daughter screaming in her bedroom. “She had to make some sort of poster...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A meat raffle at the iconic Betoota Hotel has ended in a brawl after a Pork Chop started carrying on. Although accounts of the night vary due to the various amounts of alcohol consumed by those present, the Pork Chop claims he is not to blame. "Yeah, it's unfair mate. Everyone goes yeah, he's carrying on like the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of Betoota Heights this evening, a crime scene has been established at a 6 bedroom triple garage red brick house in a quiet cul-de-sac. Emergency services were called to the scene after reports of a couple of boomers trying to give children out mint humbugs. Popular for it's trick-or-treating during the Halloween run,...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact An investigation into the psychological toll of singing happy birthday to strangers has revealed some staggering results today. The piece, led by The Advocate, discovered that restaurant managers are the only staff members paid enough to be able to overcome the humiliation of singing to a complete stranger. Our reporters managed to work closely with over 100 of Betoota’s top restaurants, initially...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Pam Jensen today started questioning her choices, after a particular incident at work left her feeling a bit hot under the collar. The 30-year-old legal administrator had been reprimanded by the CFO for misplacing a document, and instantly felt herself feeling more attracted to him. “I wasn’t really into Rob but since he got promoted he just seems...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Ivan Milat, Australia's most notorious serial killer, and man who received far better health care and treatment than refugee children (and adults) on offshore detention has died aged 74. Milat who was serving seven life sentences for the murders of seven backpackers died in Long Bay jail this morning, after being diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. The...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT All Chrysler 300C drivers probably know somebody who knows somebody, a new report has revealed. The report, commissioned by the Australian Federal Police, uncovered that all 300C drivers involved in the study directly or indirectly knew people who could solve certain problems, procure certain items, or even make certain people or objects disappear as required. “What we have found...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The scientific community is in turmoil today after the entire premise of climate change and global warming was totally debunked by a man with no scientific credentials. Betoota local and noted climate change skeptic Brett Melon posted a link to a picture this morning purporting to show bins overflowing with garbage after a climate change rally. Although several scientists...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Christina Pieratta has “had it up to here with GP’s in this town,” it has been confirmed. The revelation came after Christina was denied her thinly veiled request for a Valium prescription. “Why won’t they just give me some fucking Valium?”  Christina has been hopping from one Medical Practice to another pleading for ‘something’ to help her with her...