Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local Yo-Pro in Betoota's Old City District has unintentionally informed one of his colleagues that's he's been doing a bit of reading of late. Finn Hill (25) did by flashing his shiny new orange bank card at the cafe just moments ago. "Someone's been reading some self-help books hey," asked his colleague this morning, referencing the smash...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local woman has today used a serious medical condition as an excuse for her behaviour at a Betoota Grove Italian restaurant.  Brittany Asiento (25) apologised to her friends saying it was her ‘OCD’ that was causing her to repeatedly rearrange her table setting so all the cutlery was perfectly aligned.  One of Brittany’s friends, a qualified doctor, told the...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Betoota Dolphins centre, Todd Bellamy, is moments away from knowing what it means to green out, it’s been confirmed.  Bellamy, who likes to think himself a bit of a tough guy, disregarded his friends warnings about smoking a whole joint to himself. Instead, challenging himself to smoke it as quickly as he can.  “Oi, watch this” he naively said.  After puffing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the Inner city Betoota federal division of Mimimi, one local voter has today vowed to use his vote to teach Scott Morrison a lesson in the Federal Election next March. How? By voting 1 Greens in both the lower and upper house. Wyatt Enrich (32) says he's never really thought much about the power he wields as a comfortable urban...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A colleague at work that adheres to a monotheistic religion that originated in the 15th century, in the Punjab region in the northern part of the Indian subcontinent, is obviously giving Ramadan a miss this year. That's what his coworkers have decided - after seeing him plough through two seperate coffees this morning. At 30 years of age, Ravi Singh,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A young gym enthusiast has decided to treat his body to a few months off the anabolics today. The 26-year-old aspiring bodybuilder and part-time personal trainer Brayden Wilson told The Advocate this afternoon that he's decided to skip a cycle after realising he was getting enough of the good shit from all of the chicken he eats. "Yeah, I...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A cafe in our town's Heights district last night walked away with a huge honour from the Betoota Chamber Of Commerce's Annual Business Awards Night. The team at 'Koffee' took home the coveted Business Innovation Award after adopting a cutting edge new industry practice this year. Like 97% of other cafes operating in regional towns and centres...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Sam Battsman, a solid eight out of ten, has just uploaded his first Instagram photo in five years. The photo comes approximately 3 days after his rumoured breakup with a long-time girlfriend who is also a smoke-show.  @Sam_89’s photo sees the man debuting his newly chiselled upper body at the Old Quarry Pools and was accompanied by a somewhat cryptic...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A part time retired fisherman sitting at the end of the Betoota Jetty sighs and answers the same question for the 19th time today.  “They biting, mate?” asked a stranger passing Jerry ‘Grey Beard’ Brim.  “Haven’t got a feed yet” Jerry replied.  The Advocate sat down with Jerry to talk through his frustrations.  “People see a fishing rod and can’t resist asking”  “Half...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local woman’s body has taken revenge on her today after she poisoned it over a period of 12 hours last night.  During the week, Tamara Johns (26), struggles to wake up with her 6am alarm, but it appears her mind had other plans for her as it clicked into gear and started processing over a hundred different non-existent...