Local News

Job Application Ruined By Hotmail Account From 2003

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, James Wells (27), will not be making it through to the second round of interviews in his most recent application for a mid-to-high-level financial management position in a reputable CBD office. The interviewer, Brian Campwell (58), says that while James' past experience and tertiary education was up to scratch, he could not have possibly hired someone who...

Western Queensland NBN Internet Speeds Now Two Times Faster Than Australia Post

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Prime Minister looked the Diamantina Shire mayor in the eye, shook his hand and lied to him. In a part of the nation where you're only worth as much as your word, Tony Abbott promised Geoff Morton that the National Broadband fibre optic network would come to the desert country, ending years of lobbying and campaigning for...

Local Kid Ready To Burn Entire Fucking School Down After Accidentally Calling Teacher ‘Mum’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local kid Archie Sinclair is currently fantasising about different ways to burn his entire primary school down with everyone still inside it. These dark thoughts have been triggered by the classroom's extremely embarrassing response to him accidentally referring to his third-grade teacher, Ms Patterson, as 'mum'. What Archie (8) initially thought was a near-inaudible freudian slip, quickly turned into a...

Local Man Doing Really Good Job Of Hiding Crippling Hangover Today

  CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Fraser Cassidy, is just about to begin the second meeting of his busy day today. Later tonight, he has to endure a dinner date with his new kind-of girlfriend, Georgia. Despite booking a last-minute dinner reservation at a high-end restaurant, Mr Cassidy is still in the depths of one of the worst hangovers he has had this year. "I'm ordering...

Local Man Disappointed To Learn Hot Chick At Work Reads Predestrian.tv

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local man, Shaun Jackson, says he is "pretty cut" after learning that his hot coworker Kelly is actually a full blown happy clapper. Not only that, but she also reads Pedestrian.tv The 29-year-old sales representative spoke to The Advocate today about how he came to learn that his chirpy account manager upheld a relationship with the youth-oriented...

Can Someone Please Help Mum Change Her Photo? She’s Been Asking For A While Now

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Although she refuses to admit it, local mum Annette Sawyer has needed help updating her Facebook profile for over three months now. In a moment of hysterical emotion in June 2015, Ms Sawyer joined the masses on social media and decided to show her support for marriage equality by altering her Facebook profile image to include a Gay...

Tony Windsor rides time on Bone Crusher

10 February, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact FORMER INDEPENDENT MEMBER FOR New England Tony Windsor has ridden time on one of the most feared bulls in all of South West Queensland, Bone Crusher. The Cordillo Downs Invitational attracts some of the biggest names in amateur corner country rodeo, with the likes of Windsor and other assorted country glitterati making the...

Scorned Local Woman Finally Ready To Start Talking To Other Men About Her Ex

20 January, 2016 14:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After her first taste of dating since breaking up with her fiancé of three years, Kylie Burns says finally being back in the game is a liberating feeling. "It's really good to get dressed up and meet other guys," "It's been about four months since I broke up with Brendan, so I was pretty excited when Mark asked...

“Look Babe, There’s Plenty More Fish In the Sea… And Most Of Them Have Much Tidier Rigs”

14 January, 2016 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Between tubs of chocolate ice cream and light-hearted Will Ferrell comedies, Samantha Hendry is trying her very best to comfort her heartbroken best friend, Margot Bowler. Approximately 48 hours ago, Margot was dumped by her long-term boyfriend, Jacob - on the grounds of her being too boring. "I'm trying my best, but she honestly thinks he was...

Local Dad Successfully Blames Unusual Internet Usage On Teenage Son

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Chuffed local man, Andrew Morris has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about what he describes a "fucking close call". When confronted by his wife, Angela, about a concerning spike in the household's monthly internet bills - the self-employed father-of-three was successfully able to shift the blame from himself - to his 15-year-old son. "I would have been in...

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