Local News

Local Man Struggling To Give A Fuck About Coworker’s Drunken Confessions

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Toby Lockyer has found himself in the least desirable seat at this particular staff party. While enjoying an open bar at a local surf club, the entire office at J.B Media Buying have been forced to adhere to designated seats within the venue, in order to help cultivate their famously "social work environment". Mr Lockyer got seated next to...

Bouncer Behaving Pretty Much Exactly Like The People He’s Kicking Out

16 December, 2015 17:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local nightclub bouncer, Roddy Blake, spent a good part of last night forcefully removing patrons from the venue he is employed by. "Smoking, spitting, swearing, rowdy behaviour... That's a pretty good indicator that it's time for you to get 'pretzeled' out of the place," While Mr Blake acknowledges the importance of his job, he also recognises...

“All I Want For Christmas Is A Babysitter And Two Bags Of Bondi Marching Powder”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Young mother of two, Maree Hardy says the Christmas spirit is alive and well in her family home this season. "Everyone's excited! The tree is up and our boys have written their letters to Santa. They can't wait," With two sons in kindergarten and a stay-at-home husband, Maree is the sole breadwinner in their South Betoota household and after working sixteen hour...

Plain Clothes Cop Blows Cover By Asking Teenage Drug Dealer To Add Him On MSN

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local teenagers were left in a state of confusion yesterday, after a seemingly 'cool' older man asked them if they were active users of the MSN Messenger Service, in a vacant car park. Ollie Wyndham, 16, says the group became suspicious of the man after he made reference to the discontinued instant messenger service, which was rebranded as Windows Messenger in...

‘The Fat Jew’ Is Painfully Not-Funny, Confirms Person Who Met Him In Real Life

30 November, 2015 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Josh Ostrovsky, aka ‘The Fat Jew,’ rakes in six figures from his joke-sharing Instagram account and has recently landed several sponsorship deals. As a controversial figure in the world of internet humour, it is assumed by many that The Fat Jew is the current 'face' of contemporary comedy. However one man, who has actually met...

Local man slapped with jay-walking ticket in Birdsville

29 November, 2015. 9:14 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEING ONE of the more quieter towns of the Diamantina Shire, 23-year-old Dirk Hampton was ticketed by an area constable yesterday after failing to cross Adelaide Street at the designated crossing. The $103 fine is bureaucracy gone mad, says Hampton. "This is just revenue raising. Don't the cops have anything better to do?...

Local Coward Lets Partner Read Through Entire Group Chat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Ben Gladstone is a coward. That's according to thirteen blokes in his secret, boys-only WhatsApp group conversation. "Ben's done mate. He's cooked it," says former-mate Ryan Wrigley. "What the fuck was he thinking. It goes without saying that the group chat is secret mens business. It's fucking sacred... He let his girlfriend read through the entire thing," "It's all...

Local 4-Month-Old Gives Mum Clear Consent To Post 450 Photos Of Him Online

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 4-month-old, Jack Peachey, has given clear consent to his mother posting upwards of 450 photographs of him on an array of social media channels, it has been confirmed. The consistent stream of baby photographs are also captioned with generic motherly proverbs, such as: "Jack William Peachey, a Sagittarius... and he knows it!" "NO! I'm the boss! lol" "Oh, this boy of mine," "When's...

Report: Sniffer Dogs Are Fucken Dogs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Maitland diesel mechanic Trenton Derran has spoken out in a stinging rebuke of the presence of police dogs at community events on his Facebook page this Friday. The young electronic music enthusiast controversially revealed that he was reluctant to carry more than six disco biscuits into festivals due to the increased number of sniffer dogs patrolling the entry...

Hotel Staff Taken Hostage As Patrons Refuse To Acknowledge Lock-Out Laws

CLAYTON STAND | Contributor | Contact BAR AND SECURITY STAFF at Hotel Sweety’s in the Sydney CBD have been taken hostage in an apparent protest of the NSW lockout laws. Three men aged 25, 23 and 18 laid siege to the hotel after being asked to leave the licensed premises at the closing time of 3:00 am. One of the men, Lachlan Peterson, reached-out to the Betoota Advocate...

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