Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A big sweaty mess has today been forced to swallow a few sledges, after being confronted by a smirking colleague. Rolling into work on an unseasonably scorching Channel Country day, Betoota Hills man Aaron Simpson was visibly in a bit of a state. With temperatures clocking close to 40 and kitted out in full office attire, Simpson turned...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In tech news, American audio giant Bose has released an exciting new product today, a pair of noise cancelling headphones that can block out the sound of Americans. Famous for their suite of quality earbuds and over-ear headphones, the company has announced that their latest release, the QuietComfort 55, will be so powerful they’ll turn the ear-splitting squawks...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The set builders at FoxSports are being applauded this week for their work in crafting a fully functioning guillotine. With head coach redundancy drums already beating loudly at multiple NRL clubs including the Dragons, Knights and the Titans, The Advocate understands a team of carpenters, engineers and set designers at FoxSports were told that during the off-season,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today assured herself that the reason the bloke she’s keen on doesn’t return her affections must be entirely based on his ‘avoidant attachment’ issues, and not because he’s simply just not interested in her. Nadine McGill is alleged to have come to this conclusion after scrolling through a few Tik Tok videos about attachment...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Clipboards are tapping and pencils are scratching in a corporate box at Leichhardt Oval this afternoon, as a group of scouts from the English SuperLeague watch Wests Tigers play the Gold Coast Titans. The Advocate understands that nine different representatives from the English Super League and several others from Japanese Rugby have arrived at the suburban ground,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A couple’s special anniversary dinner ended up tasting a little bitter today as they were joined in the dining room by a dress-synergised nuclear family who were stopping in for a casual mid-week feed. Saving up to splurge on a fancy meal is a great activity for couples who want to have a bit of fun but think they...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a shocking turn of events, Betoota man Greg Murphy (41) has learnt that his brother-in-law was telling the truth when he claimed to be terrible at golf. According to Murphy, he had always assumed that his brother-in-law, Dave Jenkins (36), was exaggerating his lack of golfing skills as a way to downplay his own abilities, either to fleece...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a stunning revelation that has left the community reeling, local man Phil Long (40) has admitted that he knows just enough about domestic chores to realise that his wife does them so much better than he does. With Australian men constantly ranked as some of the worst in the world when it comes to domestic duties, prestigious news...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA stay at home daughter in Betoota Grove is ready to take her whacky show on the road by debuting a kooky name for ‘her’ new car. Full-time gap year taker Bionica Wilby (18) was recently gifted a brand name car by her parents for her 18th birthday that was either new or second hand depending on who you...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactI’ve got bad news for the renters out there: There’s only so many landlords to go round. Meaning there’s only so many rentals to go round. And with the rental crisis out of control, everyone’s grappling to find a solution to provide affordable rental options. But the solution is staring us in the face: Landlords buying more properties. Us landlords...