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LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota cinema owner Glen Brooks is one of many cinlicans who has observed a strange new phenomena amongst movie going audiences. In recent years, groups of movie goers have worn suits to the Minions movie, worn pink to Barbie and worn out the ears of all their friends after they went to an A24 film.  This new trend however centres...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A former rising star of the AFL has today met a fate written in the stars for some years now.  Daniel Gorringe has sensationally confirmed that he’ll be coming out of retirement to sign a 2 year contract with the Gold Coast Suns.  For those who aren’t aware, the Gold Coast is the final resting place for sporting careers in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The last days of humanity may be approaching faster than first thought. While plenty of theories around climate change, biblical apocalypses and so on are often thrown around, it seems like humanity's love for each may be the eventual downfall. This comes after it was revealed that men and women all around the western world are more concerned...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A taste of 1998 has come to one Betoota house as a celebrating dad has kept his Blink 182 renaissance alive by refusing to come out of his room. Although his kids consider the band a Kardashian affiliate, for dad Brian Ganju, Blink 182 represent the rebellious high school skater that he once dreamed of being and still occasionally...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT SOPRANOS ERA: As the dust settles on 2023's 'Clean Girl' aesthetic, the wave of change crashing into 2024 seems to be leaving behind a trail of bronzer, fox fur, and to many’s delight, lower hair maintenance bills.  Enter 2024’s hottest new TikTok trend: the 'Mob Wife' look. But the aesthetic pivot not just a mere style choice; it's...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT WHO KNEW: South Bondi’s newest Perth expat, Chloe Hempshaw, recently uncovered a startling truth about Sydney. Her new 'home' is a littleeeeee bit more diverse than Cottesloe.  Dressed in her signature Angus and Julia Stone-inspired hat, Hempshaw expressed her surprise at Sydney's vibrant mix of cultures.  “I mean, who would have thought Sydney was so multicultural?” she told Betoota.  Having...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT USE THE SCISSORS: In a heart-pounding incident, a mother in Betoota’s suburban locale had a near-death experience when her child ripped off a clothes tag without employing the services of a trusty pair of scissors.  The unsuspecting mother, Sally Smyth was innocently sipping her herbal tea while her child decided to take matters into their own hands. Armed...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed guardian of the Bro Code has done the unspeakable to the boys by sliding into his mates ex's DMs with an impressive array of fire emojis.  Steve, who has long boasted about his commitment to Bro Code values, threw caution to the wind when he found how his mate's recent...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT THIS ONE’S ON THE BUSINESS CARD: In a stunning display of financial audacity, Jenny Smith a local sole trader and small business owner claims she’s some expert on the Australian tax system, despite having no fucking idea how a tax deduction actually works.  Last Sunday, Smith confidently declared, "It's a tax deductible," when it came her turn to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man known locally to authorities for his vendetta against jet ski riders has won the Oz Lotto jackpot overnight, netting him a cool $20M.  The genuinely well liked local bloke says he’s finally rolling in it.  “I might be able to buy a used car in this market now,” laughed Dale Clarke, a panel beater from our...