The last days of humanity may be approaching faster than first thought.

While plenty of theories around climate change, biblical apocalypses and so on are often thrown around, it seems like humanity’s love for each may be the eventual downfall.

This comes after it was revealed that men and women all around the western world are more concerned with lasting longer in an ice bath than they are with an intimate partner.

“Apparently it’s more important to do 4 minutes in a cold plunge then to share a few extra minutes of passion with your wife or a stranger you met on a nightclub d-floor,” explained an anthropologist from South Betoota Polytechnic University.

“And look, sure, we are making advances in terms of how humans can reproduce, but the death of passion, intimacy and attraction will likely be the end of the human race.”

“It’s already beginning.”

“Blokes are more concerned about being marathon men in a cold plunge or a sauna.”

“They’d rather be drenched in the sweat of fellow hustlers than that of a lover.”

“And it doesn’t bode well for birth rates, let me tell you.”

More to come.


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