ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Coles CEO Leah Weckert has taken time this morning to shake off some stress by burning a few ants with a magnifying glass.

Just a few days after an explosive investigation by the ABC’s Four Corners program that uncovered a litany of dishonest practices in the Australian supermarket industry, there have been calls for systemic change that begins at the top.

Ms. Weckert told The Advocate today from the Coles Group Headquarters in Melbourne that she’s looking forward to the future and the consumer challenges that bring.

“You know, I did see that (Woolworths CEO) Brad Banducci decided to retire after his performance in that interview,” she said.

“Honestly, Brad’s performance in that interview made me cringe on a spiritual level. What an absolute bed-shit that was. It took the heat off me, somewhat, and for that, I thank him immensely.”

Ms. Weckert then laughed for 15 seconds.

“Anyway, look, like anything in this country, it only occupies the zeitgeist for a few days, and then we’re on to the next thing. Who watched that Four Corners program? People that already shop at places like Harris Farm or drive their Tesla halfway around the city to visit a butcher, green grocer, and independent supermarket. Chincy yuppies and people who still consume news, people who are becoming increasingly rare,” she said.

“People who shop at Coles and Woolworths weren’t watching Four Corners; they were watching that dreadful Married At First Sight or Australian Idol. Then they woke up, went to work the next day, got the kids from their needlessly expensive daycare, and then picked up a. few things from Coles on the way home. It just goes to show, they must have a room full of idiots over at Woolworths. All Brad had to do was go away for a few weeks. He comes back and it’s business as usual. But no, someone had to go. Sad,”

“But I’m human, the program did stress me. But I feel better having fried a few ants out in the car park this morning. I got a few good ones. Frying ants like we fry suppliers. We are God, with the death beam, and they are little ants. Pow!”

More to come.


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