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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It's not good news for cheap tool enthusiasts, with revelations emerging today that a fan favourite could be no more. As various states and territories crackdown on the use of plastics in daily life, it has been confirmed today that Ozito power tools will be banned from the end of 2022. The move comes as part of a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT An Old City District cafe owner was today huffing and puffing as if he has just been asked to carry the world on his shoulders. Dealing with an after-lunch customer, Holy Grind owner Graham Pooley was left flummoxed after fielding an order based on the drinks he has on display. Hoping to pick up a bit of an...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some breaking news from the Bush Capital, David Littleproud has successfully announced himself on the national stage. Our local Member for Maranoa has done so by knocking out former Nationals Leader Barnaby Joyce to claim the heavyweight title for himself. This means that David 'The Thrilla from Chincilla' Littleproud is now the head of the National Party. The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local finance guy from one of Brisbane's leafy inner suburbs has today revealed his concern for the nation's future. After watching his electorate turn Green, Alexander Walton-Smith explained to The Advocate that he is worried our economy could go down the gurgler. The stay-at-home son made the interesting claims after another lecture from his dad around the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a recent drinking session, Betoota newcomer Nathan Pendlebury returned home wondering if he would ever understand the ways of the locals. “What the fuck is a dog’s eye?” laughed the former white-collar London town worker while eating a bag of “crisps”. Shropshire-born recruiting agent “Pendles” has had to adjust to more than the Channel Country weather conditions. From the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian Labor Party has already hit troubled waters today, with news that the new government has been hit with an extremely early poll slump. Although the Quad meeting in Tokyo went swimingly, key ministers have been appointed, and none of the promises from the election campaign have been broken yet, a seemingly innocous strategy now has insiders...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A youngish man broke the monotony of an afternoon from hell by retiring to the restroom for the sole purpose of looking himself in the mirror. Our reporter, who was in the said restroom when Peter Pooley walked in, sat silently in a cubical playing Snakes and Ladders on his phone. Peter let out a long sigh and started talking...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has revealed his disappointment at the state of the nation today. Speaking to The Advocate in the wake of the 2022 federal election, Darren Munster explained that he can't believe how backward some of his fellow Australians are. "Look don't get me wrong, it's good to see a change of government from my perspective, but...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local big man is enjoying the sweet taste of democracy this morning, stopping by an election bake sale to support his old primary school. Standing in front of a buffet spread of homemade muffins, cakes and the ever popular Mars Bar slice, it’s understood local unit Dylan Cotter has begun searching deep into his pockets for...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man has today revealed an impressive fact about his character. Speaking to our reporters ahead of tomorrow's federal election, Jason Andrews revealed that he's sticking with the tried and tested tomorrow. "Better the devil you know," said the man with a clearly very impressive pain threshold. The comfortably employed homeowner and father of two said...