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After a recent drinking session, Betoota newcomer Nathan Pendlebury returned home wondering if he would ever understand the ways of the locals.

“What the fuck is a dog’s eye?” laughed the former white-collar London town worker while eating a bag of “crisps”.

Shropshire-born recruiting agent “Pendles” has had to adjust to more than the Channel Country weather conditions. From the cold, odd-sized beers with actual bubbles in them, to the absence of polos and jeans with sneakers, the local customs have come as quite a shock. 

“And don’t get me started on some of the language out here,” Pendles said. 

“Were they winding me up with that ‘drop bear’ shit or do I need a better umbrella?” he asked. 

“Anyway, obviously, I was too shy to ask the group chat to explain everything, so I asked Alexa because at least she won’t take the piss.

“Alexa told me that a ‘dog’s eye’ is a pie, and that ‘the Rissole’ was the name of where I was drinking all day yesterday, so I’ve got a bit of a handle on what’s going on now.

“And you lot reckon us Poms are weird,” he added, opening a pot of jellied eels he managed to get through border security.

“You are a weird bunch – you know that, right?”

Our reporter nodded. 

More to come.

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