A Betoota Heights man has today revealed an impressive fact about his character.

Speaking to our reporters ahead of tomorrow’s federal election, Jason Andrews revealed that he’s sticking with the tried and tested tomorrow.

“Better the devil you know,” said the man with a clearly very impressive pain threshold.

The comfortably employed homeowner and father of two said that at least you know what you get with the Liberal-National coalition, seemingly indicating that he has a great tolerance for blatant corruption, criminal behaviour, pork barrelling, economic mismanagement, and a complete disregard for any form of accountability.

“They are a safe pair of hands,” explained Andrews, who spent the early 2010s parroting on about how bad the national debt was, when it was roughly 800 billion less than it is now.

“We can’t risk change at a time like this,” said Andrews, who doesn’t seem to think 9 consecutive years of power might have gone to the heads of the white blokes in charge of the country.

“The Labor party are just loose units” continued Andrews, showing off his impressive ability to approve of billions being wasted on butchered submarine deals, sports rorts, car park rorts, dodgy climate credits for rich farmers, and JobKeeper for business and schools that didn’t need it.

“Besides, most of these issues people are banging on about don’t personally affect me, so I don’t really give a fuck.”

“Once they do, I’ll scream blue murder and talk shit about being let down.”

“But until my lifestyle is personally affected by the systematic mismanagement of our government I don’t really care.”

“That’s just the way it is.”

More to come.


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