IN-Focus

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from Betoota's Old City District, it can be revealed that a local bloke's mate's cousin's fiancé doesn't actually work on the set of a popular reality TV show - or at least doesn't have that much of a role at all. This comes after a group of young men loaded up on someone who...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As she rewrites her email for the fifth time, local woman Nadia Toomes feels like the tone is a bit off. It’s not like the email is important, given that it’s only a quick note to one of the juniors but Nadia worries that the constructive feedback has the potential to come across as a bit harsh. Meaning...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT There are few awkward experiences everyone has felt at least once in their life. Realising that no one’s listening to you and having to slowly wind up whatever you were saying. Being at your mate's house when their parents were having a spat. Not knowing how much eye contact is too much when you’re having a conversation with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just a day after getting the boot from her recurring role as The Today Show's terrorism and immigration expert, Pauline Hanson has been welcomed to the team over at Studio 10 - the spiritual home of middle-class racism and white boomer victimhood in this country. Network Ten made the announcement this morning, where they said...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Victorian AFL player who's been forced to flee his home state has told The Advocate that he's finding life difficult outside of Victoria for a range of reasons. One of them being the fact that outside of Victoria, there's a culture of washing your hands after you go to the bathroom and before you...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man dropped into his local street food night market on the way home from the pub yesterday, where he told our reporters that he got himself something from the hotbox and a cool drink from the fridge. This masthead has gone to lengths today to find local stories to report on to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the seven bottlenose dolphins that calls the town's only saltwater bore drain home has telepathically spoken to The Advocate via drugs this afternoon about the new reusable plastic bags at local supermarkets and what they might taste like. The Betoota Heights Woolworths is due to change it's plastic bags later this month in an...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Will Harrab's dream of moving to Berlin this year was put on ice, obviously. But as the coronavirus outbreak in Melbourne gets worse and worse, the directionless 28-year-old has finally heard some good news. The Berlin-obsessed former client manager at Dropbox turned semi-professional bartender is delighted today at news Victorian health authorities are considering putting...

ERROR PARKER | Editor-at-large |Contact Even though he was given Ottolenghi as a guide, a Betoota Heights man has concluded that Yotam and his difficult recipes can go and get fucked this evening as he picks out a six-pack of kangaroo sausages for dinner. Dan Keegan, under instruction from his partner Jill Teehan, was told to pick up a few...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A couple originally from Betoota Grove who decided to take their ill-gotten, inherited wealth to Byron Bay last year have even painted the fucking floor of their new house white. It's not known whether Alfonso and Sarah Sapian just had a lot of leftover white paint but their decision to paint the floor of their...