IN-Focus

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some feel-good news this week, one of our Betoota Heights residents has revealed that he's found purpose again. After the weeks blurred into months for the finance worker with only a couple of discernible hobbies, Tim Ferris said he was beyond relieved when the gyms finally opened back up. "Fuck bro, it feels so good to be back,"...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As life begins to return to normal, a newly formed local couple has today decided to mutually end their relationship and walk away on good terms. Sam Roberts (28) and Vannessa Tam (27) both confirmed to The Advocate that both of them are completely happy to call it quits, bear no ill will towards each other, and see no...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact A local couple had to decide whether to go to bed hungry or order a KFC bucket last night after boyfriend, Joel attempted to make a lasagne, which judging by the burnt, sloppy mess on their plates, did not go to plan. “Babe, I dunno if I can eat this” said a slightly queasy Emily as she pushed...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, a Sunshine Coast resident has been kind enough to reveal why the nation is in its current 'malaise.' Celeste Sequoia (formerly known as Charlotte Smith) explained to us that the reason everything is going to shit is because our nation's politicians are so out of touch with the people. The self-proclaimed naturopath who sells...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Queensland Government has been slammed this morning for suggesting that the border closures aren't hurting the state's tourism industry. However, a number of Great Barrier Reef fishing charter operators have come forward this morning to defend the government, telling The Advocate that 'every single one of their tourists is from the Brisbane area'. Murray Tomdale,...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The Australian Hoteliers Association has circulated a letter to publicans warning of an expected slew of shithouse Corona jokes as pubs reopen over the coming weeks. From June 1, NSW pubs will be allowed to seat 50 people, whilst Queensland pubs will be allowed to seat 20 people from June 12. 20 people are allowed in Western Australian venues...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Who is the favourite child has long been a competition that’s plagued families with a litter of kids. While parents claim they love each child equally, it’s clear for most kids from a young age that is simply not the case. One family that has kept up the ‘we don’t play favourites’ charade is the Grant family – Michael...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Brisbane | CONTACT In between spending her nights getting sucked into the vortex of suggested Youtube videos and waking up in the middle of the day, local woman Elena Manners has felt her sanity slowly slip away the longer she goes without a job or routine. The irregular sleep schedule, coupled with a predilection for overthinking and nitpicking has culminated in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT "What?" began the angry conversation with Dale Pooley this afternoon. "Just hang on, I'm trying to find the Star in the Betoota Ponds," he yelled out to his speakerphone. "Righto, what do you want," he then said picking up the conversation with The Advocate while leaning gainst is 2012 Mitsubishi Lancer, directly disregarding the protocol around not having your...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT After installing around a dozen “useful” search toolbars and diligently filling out as many data-mining quizzes as she can find, Mum has stooped to a new low today when she somehow managed to download and infect the family computer with COVID-19, it has been confirmed. “I don’t know what happened,” said Mum, as she tried to treat the infected...