FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

As the US completes the transition from a dangerous place full of guns into a dangerous place full of guns and riots, some protestors have signaled that they are so dissatisfied with how their country is being run that they might even vote if they get around to it.

Unlike Australia, where voting is compulsory for everyone over the age of 18, the United States does not compel citizens to vote, resulting in a much lower voter turnout.

As a consequence, in the 2019 Australian Federal Election, 96.8% of eligible voters were enrolled to vote and, of these, 91.9% exercised their democratic right to vote for the party that they considered the least likely to totally fuck up the country.

Meanwhile, in the US 2016 Presidential Elections, a mere 58% of eligible voters bothered to vote, possibly because nobody seriously believed the winner would be someone who at the time was famous for firing people and giving McCauley Culkin directions in Home Alone 2.

“I don’t need to vote; I made a sign instead” said a protestor at a rally held inside a burning Target store. “That way, other people at this protest will realise how important this issue is, which should be easy since they are there for the same reason I am. Then, if they decide to vote, they will vote for the person I would have voted for anyway. So it all works out.”

However, voter turnout for the 2020 Presidential election is predicted to be the highest in a century, as public dissatisfaction drives non-voters to register. As young, non-white and low-income groups are over-represented amongst non-voters, and over-represented in the protests, this could be bad news for team Trump if all of these groups get around to possibly thinking about maybe registering to vote.

But the world will have to wait until the end of the year to find out if elderly white pervert Trump serves another term or if he will be ousted by elderly white pervert Joe Biden.

What a time to be alive.  


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here